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Me and my ex are 30, we've been together since we were 17, married 9 years, and our entire relationship he was in the military. We made it through a deployment to Iraq just fine. He got sent to Korea and after a few months he literally changed overnight, went from saying I love you, I miss you, I hate being apart to the next day wanting a divorce. He suffered from depression while in Korea, he hated what he did there, the long hours, and he drank all the time. I asked him to get help but he wouldn't. Find out later he had a Korean girlfriend. I can forgive a lot of things, and have before, and even though I feel as though he's been suffering from something while over there I don't think I could ever get over the fact that he actually left me and got this girlfriend who he was going to marry. Several times when we talk on the phone he acts like he's regretted his choices, leaving myself and our young son. Even though he had the girlfriend and we were divorced now he expected me not to date and to try to 'win him back.' It's hard when you love someone more than anything to watch it fall apart and you can't do anything about it. So could you ever get over the cheating and the extreme nature of getting a divorce? I don't think I could ever go back to him, regardless of how much I love him.

I've been talking to this guy for months and felt like we built up a good foundation for dating. We had an awesome first date. Our second time we just hung out and watched movies. I slept over both times. He stays at his sisters, so I've met her and her bf. Him and I text/talk every day and have done so for months. It's never felt weird or uncomfortable, always natural. I said something to him today just wondering if it was really going somewhere commitment wise or if he was going to see other people. He said he's not seeing other people, but he is really busy with school full-time that just started, and he just started a job, so he said he can't commit to getting serious but we can still keep hanging out. Should I take this as a good sign still or not? I'm not looking for a commitment after 2 dates, just wondered where it was going. I'm not a crazy clingy girl. I'm just wondering if I'm wasting my time and getting invested in someone that really has no plans on it ever going anywhere. Additional info ..we met through online dating, and he's always asking if I'm talking to other guys, or if he sees me online he says something about it, he's a football fan and I'm not but he said not to worry he'll teach me everything, and I had accidently sent my friend a text saying I liked him cause he reminded me of my ex, which made him say that it must mean I still had feelings for my ex. I reassured him I didn't, I said I just liked the qualities they shared. He's asked a few other times if I was sure I didn't still like my ex.

My spouse is in the Army and we're divorcing. I know I lose health insurance and our child will still be covered, but is there anything else I'm entitled to? I'm not looking to screw him over or cash in on a divorce, I'm just looking out for myself. I'm a stay at home mom so obtaining a lawyer is out of the question. He receives BAH, would I be entitled to any of this since our son is still his dependent? Our son will be living with me full time, since he's in Korea, and let's face it, he'll always be living far away because that's the life of a soldier. I'm just looking for any advice, besides obtain an attorney or talk to JAG, I'm waiting to hear back from JAG. Anyone else go through this? And for custody, do I ask for full legal and physical custody? We've been married for almost 9 years and he's the one wanting the divorce is that helps.

My spouse is in the Army and we're divorcing. I know I lose health insurance and our child will still be covered, but is there anything else I'm entitled to? I'm not looking to screw him over or cash in on a divorce, I'm just looking out for myself. I'm a stay at home mom so obtaining a lawyer is out of the question. He receives BAH, would I be entitled to any of this since our son is still his dependent? Our son will be living with me full time, since he's in Korea, and let's face it, he'll always be living far away because that's the life of a soldier. I'm just looking for any advice, besides obtain an attorney or talk to JAG, I'm waiting to hear back from JAG. Anyone else go through this? And for custody, do I ask for full legal and physical custody? We've been married for almost 9 years and he's the one wanting the divorce is that helps.

It's been 2 months since my husband said he wanted a divorce. I had about a month where I was a wreck, crying all the time and not eating. I'm not doing that anymore because I can't change it so I'm trying to move on, for both myself and our son. My exam is deployed so we don't have to see each other and talk, which I think helps. I started to date a little, and about 4 guys turned out to only be looking for sex. Then I just happened to meet someone who is perfect: good job, nice house, nice cars, he's divorced and well moved on, and we just click and have so much in common. The only concern I think we both have is if I'm ready for this? My divorce isn't final yet, but I'm also really shy around this guy. We've only went out twice so far. But we've talked about it. I'm shy in general when I meet someone, but how do I open up? And am I not because of my impending divorce? I know it's soon but I don't want to ruin it with this guy.

Say you've been talking to a girl for weeks and everything is great and you text all the time. You finally have sex and the next day the guy is quiet, why? Prior to having sex there was a connection so why the avoidance?

My husband wants a divorce due to an affair I had 3 years ago. Since then we've went to counseling, which did seem to help. Now he's deployed and wants a divorce. He said he just can't get over the pain from what I did. He says stuff like hopefully someday I'll understand why he's doing this. Things were GREAT before he left. He went through a phase where he was really mean when he first said he wanted the divorce, now he's nicer and says stuff like he still has my picture in his room and it's weird to not say I love you to me when we talk on the phone. He said all he has is time over there to think. I think he only wants this because he hates where he is, and he has all this time to think. I'm almost positive if we were together he wouldn't want this. After he said he wanted the divorce I tried everything to get him to realize how much I loved him. He lost his wedding ring at a park one day before he deployed, so I went and bought him a new one. I searched forever to find the perfect ring for him and found one just like his old ring, but it was two tone, which he said he wanted. I sent it to him and he said it was strange that he said he wants a divorce yet I went and bought him a ring. Anyways, he refuses to send it back so I can return it (and I did buy it with his money, since I have no job currently). He says he's keeping it and he likes it. Why would he still want the ring if he's so positive he wants a divorce? He has made remarks like maybe we'll get back together, he just needs to get the divorce to see if he'll 'pick me'. I don't understand this. To me divorce is permanent. I can't see us ever getting back together after he legally ends our marriage. I'm torn and it hurts seeing how he flip flops on this.

I met my husband when I was 17 and we started dating, now after almost 9 years of marriage we're getting a divorce. Between dealing with the end of that relationship, and the fact he was my first real boyfriend, I have no real dating experience. I've tried friends with benefits and it never works out because I can't just have sex with people I don't care about. So even when those relationships end, how do you move past them? It's always easier to say just move on then actually do it.

I've been seeing a guy for over 3 weeks and I've just assumed we're kind of like friends with benefits. He's made comments like don't make me a one night stand, thus we've continued to sleep together and hang out. We're together A LOT, and we hang out, watch movies, go out for dinner, bowling, etc. We chat/text constantly. We've never directly talked about a 'relationship' but his best friend told me he's scared of commitment so a relationship would take some time. Obviously the sex is great, and we take a lot of naps together or I stay over and he's big on the cuddling and hand holding. I do like him, not sure if he knows, but when I give him a back rub and stuff he'll say stuff like why are you doing this for me? Is he really that clueless? But he also does nice gestures in return. This past weekend he even made me dinner. He is more experienced sexually then me, so I wonder if he just does this with all of his hook up buddies. No, neither of us are sleeping with other people right now. We have talked about this. Additionally we have nothing in common really, movies, songs, etc...but this also makes way for playful teasing because we're so opposite. Once at the grocery store he even said we could never be a couple because he likes pulp in oj and I don't. Today he said what type of girl he would date, and it's nothing like me. He said she needs to be geeky, like the same stuff as him, etc. So I took that as a slam again because I'm not those things. There's been confusion, and maybe only on my end about what all of this is...to me it seems like more then just friends with benefits? But then he added one of my friends on Facebook, who he doesn't know, started messaging her and kind of hitting on her, asking her to hang out type of thing. So today when he texted me about me coming over to see how he changed his bedroom, I said cool, maybe Sarah can tell me about it. He replies wow. really? I said just saying...he replies no I'm just saying and asked if that was my answer. I said I just think it's a real crappy move to hit on my friend regardless of us not dating or being in a relationship. He hasn't reponded to that. All of my friends think he actually likes me, and they're brutally honest. I'm still saying I don't see it, mostly when he seems to tell me how wrong we'd be for each other every chance he gets. And then with hitting on my friend...it's kind of the last straw in my eyes. Why is he acting like this? I'm just looking for some opinions about all of it.

I've been seeing a guy for over 3 weeks. He's made comments like don't make me a one night stand, thus we've continued to sleep together and hang out. We're together A LOT, and we hang out, watch movies, go out for dinner, bowling, etc. We chat/text constantly. We've never directly talked about a 'relationship' but his best friend told me he's scared of commitment so a relationship would take some time. Obviously the sex is great, and we take a lot of naps together or I stay over and he's big on the cuddling and hand holding. How do I know if he actually likes me without asking him and ruining what we have now? I do like him, not sure if he knows, but when I give him a back rub and stuff he'll say stuff like why are you doing this for me? Is he really that clueless? But he also does nice gestures in return. This past weekend he even made me dinner. He is more experienced sexually then me, so I wonder if he just does this with all of his hook up buddies. And no, neither of us are sleeping with other people right now. We have talked about this. Additionally we have nothing in common really, movies, songs, etc...but this also makes way for playful teasing because we're so opposite. Once at the grocery store he even said we could never be a couple because he likes pulp in oj and I don't. So does he possibly like me or not?

I've been seeing a guy for about 2 weeks. Our first conversation was great and we stayed up all night talking. But I'm starting to feel like we don't have enough in common. We don't like the same movies, same food, music, etc... I know those things don't necessarily matter, but what do you talk about in a new relationship? Sometimes it seems like there's silence when we're together and then I get more uncomfortable and won't talk. But other times we're great. We're obviously attracted to each other, but besides physically, how do I kick this up?

I've been hanging out with a guy for about 2 weeks and we really don't have much in common. We don't like the same movies, same types of food, music, nothing really. Our first few conversations were GREAT but now I'm worried we're hitting a slump and I don't know what to talk about with him. Suggestions? He's a 'geek' as he calls it and I'm not.

Last night me and my guy friend/friends with benefits went to a movie. I spent half of the movie with my hand down his pants, and at the end he said wait till the credits are over. After the movie I went to the bathroom, then he knocks on the door and asks if anyone was in there...no one was because it was after midnight. He comes in and we have sex by the sinks right there in the open. I've never done anything like that before so I was scared about someone coming in, but he said that's the thrill of it. So we left and he wanted to go back into the theater since all the people would be cleared out by now. So we did and up at the top we had sex. Again, I've never done this. He makes it out like he has. We had sex again at his house and I thought it was pretty great. Then today I asked if he had fun last night and his response is 'yeah. was alright. better then sitting at home, right?' Seriously? He sure seems to enjoy himself while we're doing it, so why is that the response I get?

Last week me and this guy I know stayed up ALL night chatting and he couldn't wait to hang out in a few days. We had a great conversation and laughed a lot. The next night we did the same. Lots of flirting and we agreed we were attracted to each other. On Friday when we hung out there was so much sexual tension we slept together before we went bowling. Then we went bowling, then had sex again. In this there is still lots of cuddling, joking around, etc. We hung out again on Sunday, joked around, watched a movie, cuddled, and of course had sex. Throughout the week we still talked, joked around. Then today I went over there so we could nap during the day (he's an insomniac) and after about 6 hours of napping we had sex. Does he like me, or only for sex? He talks dirty, so he says stuff like he wants me to keep sleeping with him, so this doesn't help my thoughts. :( The first time we had sex he also said don't make me be a one night stand. I'm just confused.

I'm with a guy who uses A LOT of dirty talk and it's not really my thing. Yes I've told him this and he knows that it's not really my thing by how I act...is there anything I can do about this? Sometimes it's uncomfortable a little.

After I hooked up with this guy, I finally left his place around 9:30 am when he was still sleeping. I didn't want to wake him up so I just left. He sent me a text awhile later and was like 'you left?' Then later in the day he was like I still don't believe you just left like that without saying goodbye or anything. Am I wrong, was it really that rude?

I'm just getting out of a marriage with my high school sweetheart and slowly getting into dating. When I feel like most of my life has been wrapped up in one guy I feel like I don't know how to act. I'm not expecting anything serious, or looking for anything serious. Right now I just have a date to hang out with a guy coming up and it's terrifying to me. I'm a pretty blunt and honest person, so I don't want to say too much and scare the guy away. Any first time dating advice?

My husband is deployed and has been gone for 2 months. He just told me he got another girl pregnant. No, she is not in the service. He's saying he loves her, even though he's known her less then 2 weeks. I said he's crazy, but he said he knew he loved me after two weeks. We started dating at 17, been together 12 years, married 9 years. How do I process all of this? Right now I'm just numb and dead. To make matter worse we had been trying to have a baby for the past 9 months or so and I had an ectopic pregnancy.

I cheated on my spouse about 3 years ago. It started as an emotional affair, which led to a one time sexual affair. I ended up being in love with this new person. I told my husband about it in a mature way. He handled it fairly calmly, of course was angry and hurt, but said I love you, how are we going to make this work. So for the next 3 years we've been working at our marriage. Well he just got deployed to Korea. Things have been great for 2 months and filled with I love yous, I miss you, can't wait till I'm back with you, and then overnight he changed and said we're awful for each other and he wants a divorce. After a week of trying to get answers his mood worsened. What I'm finally getting out of him is it sounds like Korea is one big party and he's loving the single life and basically being a w**** over there. He hasn't told me what exactly he's done but it's kind of made it obvious that he's loving this new found freedom. I know we're both at fault here, but do I even have a right to feel hurt and betrayed that he did this to me? I don't want to hear about karma because he doesn't get to fulfill karma on his own. That's up to the higher beings. This isn't an eye for an eye situation. In a way it's more shocking that being an NCO in the military he would act like this and after how hard we've worked just forget about me and our child.