Liz

My partner of almost 24 years has given me an ultimatum. Change back to what I once was or we're done. Divorced. Changing back would be easy,wear the old clothes,put on the "correct" makeup,act like I used to. And I would be miserable.

I look nothing now like I did even three short years ago. The boring hair? Gone. Makeup? A lot more glam and a lot less Gram. Personality? Yes,I'm more open about my sexuality now than I was in the past. I'll freely admit to being enthusiastically bisexual now. Before? I'd tend to "blame" it on excessive consumption of alcohol or some such thing. I know,making excuses is soooo lame,isn't it?

The point is I'm really happy with who I am now. I've embraced every change I've gone through and believe they were all for the better. I know I'm the happiest I've ever been with myself. I feel more like I'm living my life for me and on my terms,not trying to make someone else happy. I know I'd be miserable if I went back to what I once was. And I'm not really sure that I can be what he wants for the long term. Nature abhors a vacuum and feelings will always come to the surface. I have the idea that any attempt on my part to be what I'm not will one day result in me then going completely the other way. One day it'll be "Perfect Wife" and the next it'll be "Godzilla Hooker",with big hair,too much makeup,trashy clothes and such. Ugh.

I'm looking for points of view that I may not have considered. I don't want a divorce (Who does?) but by the same token we HAVE "drifted" apart. Yes,I'd be sad to get divorced,but it wouldn't be the end of my life if it happened. Ouch,THAT hurt to say.

Yes,I have asked why I can't be accepted and loved for who and what I am now. The answer? "When I married you,you acted a certain way,dressed a certain way and had a certain sexuality. I want that woman,not what you've become." Gee,thanks Honey. Love you,too. @sshole.

Our sex life? Great! He still rocks my world in bed. Always an orgasm. When we have sex together,that is. One night it's "Let's get kinky,I want to spank you" and the next time it's "Let's do it missionary style". Wtf? He complained because I masturbated in front of him last night. What the hell? Jeez,I was horny and he didn't seem interested. Does he think I'm going without?

So. The question then becomes should I go back to the old me and stay married or keep the new me and ditch the old partner and start over at 53 years of age? No,the age thing doesn't bother me one whit. And I KNOW I'll get laid,so lack of sex isn't a concern or issue on my part.

Help!

I have very fine eyelashes and I need a mascara that covers without being chunky and that has a small brush so I can quit poking myself in the eye repeatedly. Any ideas?

Honestly,you have a computer and one would assume a TV set in your home. Is The Weather Channel something you've never heard of? My husband and I travel all over the country and it takes me about three minutes to find out what the weather is going to be where ever we're going.

No,this is NOT homework. Please keep in mind that I am NOT making this one up. Every word is true. How would you rule?

A man meets a woman. They hit it off and start dating. From the beginning he makes it abundantly clear that he does NOT wish to have children. They decide to do what people who are horny for each other do and have sex. But he uses a condom religiously. Every single time. No glove,no love.

And yet the woman comes up pregnant. With twins,no less. She tells the guy that he's the father. "Impossible",he says. "The condoms never leaked,nor did they break. Prove I'm the father." So they test the guy and lo and behold,he IS the father of twins!

But we still have the question of just how the guy knocked her up. The answer comes in the form of a bill from a fertility clinic. It seems that every time the two of them had sex,the woman would swipe the used condom with the guys sperm still in it and haul butt to the clinic to be artificially inseminated with the stolen sperm. The guy thought she was giving him condoms with spermicide in it,to kill off any and all of his swimmers. But she was giving him your basic Plain Jane condom with no spermicide.

Now comes the tricky part. She's suing him for child support and maintenance! You're the Judge,how do you find in this case?