Mark F

So I was walking down the street one day, and suddenly this guy who uses drugs and who's unknown jumped out of an alleyway, wielding a keyboard. He claimed he was a great warrior with the keyboard, and demanded all my money. I was about to comply when a 6 year old kid comes running up and says to me, "Don't worry, sir! I have a 3rd degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do from ATA, and I'll rescue you!" The kid then runs over to this anonymous drug user and kicks him right between the legs. The anonymous drug user's eyes roll up in his head as he lets go of the keyboard and drops to his knees, clutching his wounded parts, and then he topples over to one side and moans out "Ooohhh, my oompa loompas!" Meanwhile, the kid jumps up and down with his fists in the air while screaming, "I won! I won!" A bunch of adults come over and hand the kid a martial arts trophy that's as big as he is, and they all go off to celebrate. As they left, I heard one adult tell another, "This'll make for some *great* advertising!"

So, what do you think of this?

I've been wondering lately if I might be a redneck. What are some signs I should look for to know one way or the other.

What do you think of martial arts schools who advertise outside movie theaters whenever a martial arts movie (i.e. Karate Kid, or Kung Fu Panda) is playing?

(This is assuming that the martial arts school has the prior permission of the movie theater's management to do so, of course.)

When I gave an answer tonight in the LGBT section, I was thinking a little over a part of my response, and it got me to wondering.

My current boyfriend (Sean) is, and has been since well before we got together, one of my younger brother's (Alex) best friends. It can sometimes create some...interesting setups concerning when the three of us hang out together, versus when Sean and Alex hang out together (minus me, and either with or without other friends) or when Sean and I hang out together (minus Alex), and while Alex is cool with my seeing one of his best friends (Alex and I have something of an arrangement where one us can let the other one know - by a quiet gesture that isn't hugely obvious - if he'd like to be with Sean without the other one of us present, in the times that desire comes up - this helps adress certain situations, like if Sean and I want to get intimate, since Alex and I share a room). It's not a perfect system (Alex was, by his own admission, a bit put out when he found out that Sean and I had hooked up, and the two of us still get on each other's nerves a bit over some aspects of the relationship - as, I suppose, all brothers tend to do over some things, no matter how close they are - like when I want some intimate time with Sean when Alex wants to hang out with him, too), but we're working on it.

So I've been wondering what the most unusual, odd, strange, or downright bizarre relationship others have been in, and how did you deal with any issues that came up?

We often see a lot of the following kinds of questions pop up in the Martial Arts section here on Y!A, so do you think that there ought to be separate category for each of them? Why or why not?

1) An MMA category

2) A "Who would win in a fight?" category

3) A "Where can I watch UFC?" category

You were the hero in a story, and you found out that one of the main villains was your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate?

1. Smack my forehead and mutter, "Shut up in there."

2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" over and over.

3. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call me Admiral.

4. Walk onto the elevator with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.

5. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button, and say "ding" at each floor.

6. Anounce in a low, demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

1. What's your name?

2. Who's your Daddy?

3. Is he rich like me?

4. Has he taken any time to show you what you need to know?

Type it to me slowly. (I'll tell you why I'm asking: I really want to know!)

What should I do?

could Chuck chuck if Chuck could chuck chuck?