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Lv 2543 points

Michael H

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  • How can I make my dad happy?

    So let me break it down for you guys:

    NOTE: too long didn't read version is at the end.

    Throughout my whole life, I’ve been pretty much an “A” student. I got good grades on everything, like my tests, homeworks, and stuff. However, whenever I got a B, my father got a bit angry.

    However,

    Ever since I began the 10th Grade, my grades have been dropping. Nothing huge, just a few B averages (especially in English, my weakest subject).

    I feel that these grades are decent, since I live in a very competitive school with a reputation for being “tough” on their students (Cherry Hill, NJ). Regardless, I feel that I am doing well enough to be successful in life, especially since I’m taking all Honors classes (I’m even taking AP Calculus in my sophomore year).

    But, my dad does not believe that my grades are satisfactory. In fact, whenever I get something like a C on a test, my dad gets very disappointed. He yells at me, which not only lowers my self-esteem, but also wastes the time that I could be spending doing work. He also gets into huge fusses when I forget the smallest things. Let’s face it, teenagers WILL forget the small, trivial things that you tell them. I also forget material that we do in class after only ONE DAY of learning it in class, which I find to be acceptable (since we’ve only gone over it for one day). However, when my dad asks me (which he does

    My dad also spends all his time to find out what I am doing and restrict what I do. For example, whenever I am working me will come and try to teach me something – it doesn’t matter if I am busy and ask him not to, he will just try to force information into my head. Also, he never lets me chill with my friends – he tries to force me to come home early after school and won’t let me do things with my friends such as going to the movies or mall, he will always tell me that I am not allowed and that I need to study.

    Also, I spend HOURS doing my work. Sure, every once in a while I do check things like Facebook, but about 90% of my time at home is spent studying. However, I sometimes do poorly on these tests and my dad gets angry at me, telling me that I might as well give up and that I have no success in life. For example, I spent 2 whole days on a book called The Old Man and the Sea, but I got a 72 on the test. He gets angry, even calling me a “Ge She Kee” (which in Korean, means Son of a *****) for just one little grade. He doesn’t appreciate me at all. When he calls me these names, he lowers my self-esteem too.

    Along with this, I have a sister: one year older than me. She is the smartest person in her year, making the 99.9% in the school. My dad always compares me to her, saying that I am a failure because I cannot live up to what my sister has done. It makes me feel like crap, to be honest.

    He finds flaws in the smallest things I do as well. For example, whenever my handwriting is a bit sloppy, he will have a fit and tell me that I will go nowhere in life. As always, he will then proceed to yell at me until 12 in the morning and then go upstairs in a raging fit.

    Lastly, whenever I try to tell him something personal (I.e about a girl, or a friend, or something) he will try to pry into EVERYTHING personal about me, and won’t even answer my question. Then, he will embarrass me by asking me questions that you should NEVER ask your son, such as whether or not I am a virgin and if I have consumed alcohol. Seriously, dad, if you read this, NEVER ask your son any of these questions.

    To long, didn’t read version:

    How do I make my dad happy? He:

    - Yells at me for the most trivial things

    - Restricts everything that I do at home

    - Doesn’t appreciate all the effort I put into my schoolwork

    - Lowers my self-esteem

    - Favors my sister

    - Always overreacts and tries to find flaws in what I do

    - Does not listen to anything I say when I try to tell him something

    - Makes me uncomfortable

    Please help? I want to live a happy life with my parents but don’t know where to begin.

    4 AnswersFamily1 decade ago
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