Rabble

My social life has hit as close to rock bottom as it can get. I really do try to put myself out there, but apparently I keep failing. I commute to college currently so its quite difficult to meet any new people, but I've joined clubs and such that appeal to my interests so that I can find people that I have something in common with. I've also recently got a job on campus as a tutor and ive met a couple cool people but we've yet to see each other outside of our session. The only thing I have to really look forward to is when my best friend comes back from college for holiday breaks. Its really beginning to feel like I'm his dog, just waiting for him to come home so I can get all excited.

Moving over to relationships, there were two girls that I was interested in that I... well. Yea. My luck with women is even worse than my luck with friends. I've dated very briefly but both times they ended tragically (as in absolutely soul-devastating). But I do like both of these women nonetheless. Sadly, one of them has ignored me for over a week - and before you say "it's only a week" or "maybe she's just busy," it's quite literally her just ignoring me for the sake of doing so - and the other one just smiles nicely at me during class. Don't get me wrong, I don't expect having a girlfriend to fix any of my problems with other friendships, but I just want to know someone out there likes me.

And the utter lack of communication with other people is starting to make me crazy. I'm just sitting at home, in class, or at work. My xbox broke, and my computer can't run videogames well (I made the poor decision of buying a Mac when I wanted to play games). It's gotten to the point that I can have full length conversations with myself. Furthermore, while having a conversation with myself, I'll think "Wait, what am I even doing?" and I'll talk to myself ABOUT talking to myself. It's pretty bad... The saddest part about this is that the person that I've spoken to the most over a 2 month period has been someone I met off of Xbox Live awhile back. She's the only person that seems to have any interest in how I am (and no, I don't know what she looks like nor do I care - I think of her in the little sister sense).

Regardless, I'm seriously stumped, and I have no idea how to fix anything. I've made the effort - where's my return? Am I seriously just that unlikeable? Help and advice is appreciated, thanks for reading.