?

For the past few days my Internet has suddenly slowed down dramatically. Occasionally it will load a page at it's regular speed, but about 95% of the time it will take between 3 to 10 minutes to load a simple page like google, Facebook, etc. Sometimes the page will never load properly at all. And it's really beginning to drive me insane.

In my house there are 3 other laptops in use (and 2 of them, like my laptop, are using wireless) but the Internet on all of them is working fine. I am currently using firefox, but the Internet is running just as slow on Internet explorer and google chrome as well. I have done a virus scan and used ccleaner to clean up cookies, Internet history, temporary Internet files etc. None of this seems to have made the slightest difference.

Anyone have any ideas how to clear this all up? Thank you!!!

I was taught in school that you should never, never, never begin a sentence with "and" or "but".

However, I am now reading more and more books where authors break this rule. In my own writing I am also finding myself itching to do the same.

I think it makes the reader stop temporarily. It makes them pause to consider what is happening in more dramatic passages and it gives them time to breathe in action packed scenes.

In other cases I even think it makes the writing flow better.

As a not very good example, I think:

"He dug his nails sharply into soft fingertips, praying he would wake. But the dead girl did not fade from his vision."

is more effective than:

"He dug his nails sharply into soft fingertips, praying he would wake. The dead girl, however, did not fade from his vision."

So what do you guys think? Do you hate when authors break this rule, or do you think that if done well, it adds to the novel? Do you think there is more room for leniency in this regard when writing in 1st person than in 3rd person?

Thanks :)

...for characters, the plot, setting etc.

For me, it's from pictures and people I know :)

How about you guys?

BQ: If you could go inside the head of any author (dead or alive) for one day and see how they think...who would it be?

I was wondering how you would write the structual formula for 2,2-dimethylbutan-1-ol

Is it okay to write it CH3CH3CCH3CH3CH2OH ... or do I need to make the methyl parts more obvious?

If in a short story, the characters are nameless, would you consider this as aspect of their characterisation?

Just wondering - when you are considering a text's context of production, does this just involve the historical context of it's writer, or can you look at personal, social, cultural context as well?

thanks :)

Just found these on the internet during my procrastination of study :P

What do you guys think???

The World’s Funniest Real Ads

Believe it or not, these ads actually found their way into newspapers all over the world:

Braille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate.

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.

Help wanted, singer for rock band. Must be female or male.

For sale, Hope Chest, brand new, half off, long story.

Help wanted, adult or mature teenager to baby-sit. One dollar an hour.

Lost: small brown poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, potty chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.

Four-posted bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Christmas sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to- find person.

Wanted, man to take care of cows that does not smoke or drink.

Three-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 -- $9 per hour.

Our sofa seats the whole mob and it’s made of 100% Italian leather.

Full sized mattress. 20 year warranty. Like New. Slight urine smell.

Nordic Track $300 hardly used, call Chubby.

Joining nudist colony! Must sell washer and dryer $300.

Open house body shapers toning salon free coffee and donuts

Found: dirty white dog. Looks like a rat... been out while. Better be reward.

Exercise equipment: Queen Size Mattress & Box Springs - $175.

ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER.

Free Yorkshire Terrier: 8 years old. Hateful little dog.

Free puppies: ½ cocker spaniel, ½ sneaky neighbor’s dog.

Free puppies: part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.

German Shepherd, 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.

Snow Blower for sale…only used on snowy days.

Bill’s Septic Cleaning: “We Haul American-Made Products."

Cows, calves never bred…also 1 gay bull for sale.

Nice Parachute – Never opened. Used once.

Hummels – Largest selection ever. "If it’s in stock, then we have it!"

1 man, 7 women hot tub. $850/offer.

Shakespeare’s Pizza. Free chopsticks.

Harrisburg Postal Employee Gun Club.

Tickle-Me-Elmo, still in box, comes with its own 1988 Ford Mustang, 5L, Auto, Excellent condition $6800.

I have to go to a P Party (where you dress up as something beginning with P) and have no idea what to do...

Any ideas????

btw, there ARE limitations on what you can come as....if you get what I mean :P

Thanks

hey everyone

just a quick question -

i'm doing a biol assignment and it's asking about 'genetic conservation strategies'.

could someone please explain what these are and if possible, give an example.

my internet searches are not proving very helpful so any information would be much appreciated

thanks :D

Hey everyone.

Just checking, are allusions classified as a form of imagery (like similes and metaphors are), or are they different?

Thanks :D

Hello everyone

I am studying Hamlet at school and I'm having trouble understanding what the food imagery in this play represents. I've worked out the meaning of most of the other imagery strands (eg. disease, decay, gardens, poison etc), but this one is just confusing me!

Would anyone be able to help me here?

Thanks :)

I now there's

o Metaphors

o Similes

o Personification

o Symbolism

o Allegory

o Metonymy

o Synecdoche

but I'm pretty sure there's more

What have I missed out?

A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed.

Regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless practical joker, sitting at his bed side.

He asked his brother how his wife was doing and his brother said, "Don't worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter.

But the hospital was in a real hurry to

get the birth certificates filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious, I named them for you."

The husband was thinking to himself, "Oh no, what has he done now?" and asked with some trepidation, "Well, bro, what did you name them?"

Whereupon, his brother replied, "I named the little girl Denise."

The husband, relieved, said, "That's a lovely name! And what did you come up with for my son?"

The brother winked and replied, "Denephew."

Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.

The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic.

"What's logic?" the first redneck asked.

The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"

"I sure do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good!" said the redneck.

The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."

Impressed, the redneck said, "Amazing!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!"

The redneck was catching on.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"

The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friend was still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin'?" asked the friend.

"Math, history, and logic!" replied the first redneck.

"What in tarnation is logic?" asked his friend.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?" asked the first redneck.

"No," his friend replied.

"You're queer, ain't ya?"

The following questions from lawyers were taken from official court records nationwide..

1. Was that the same nose you broke as a child? <

2. Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?

3. Q: What happened then?

A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."

Q: Did he kill you?

4. Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

5. The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

6. Were you alone or by yourself?

7. How long have you been a French Canadian?

8. Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

9. Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.

A: That's me.

Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

10. Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

11. Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

12. Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?

A: I'll be three months on November 8.

Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?

A: Yes.

Q: What were you doing at that time?

13. Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?

A: I used to be.

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

14. So you were gone until you returned?

15. Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: None.

Q: Were there girls?

16. You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

17. Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?

A: Yes.

Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

18. Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?

A: Not yet.

19. A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."

20. Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the Rose Chapel?

A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?

A: No, you stupid, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!

His lips start moving.

(no offense intended) :P

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.

This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers, and that's why beer is so GOOD for you!

Hey everyone :D

I have the remains of some x-mas crackers lying around the house and decided this year to try and do something with them, rather than throwing them out (it's the holidays...I'm bored)

Does anybody have some ideas of some crafts I can do with them???

Thanks :)

A man, who smelled like a distillery, flopped down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and

began reading.

After a few minutes the disheveled man turned to the priest and said, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man."

"Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.

"I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading that the Pope does."