FENDER BENDER

i know different ppl may have diff opinion but there has to be a brand on which most of us will agree

now guys!!! after seeing the visuals of A.Wesker,is there any hope for us being able to see a RE 6 ? I think so because there doesn't seem to be a way to defeat that ultra human wesker !! so.... what do you think ??

hello guys!! i just wanna know that is my NVidia GeForce 8400M GT GPU is compatible with Silent Hill HOmecoming ? if not , the what should i get ??

how many numbers can u add in an single attempt ???

I am me and you and me are I

Everyone knows a touchdown makes six

So tell me truthfully what are lies

now this is the actual riddle !! pardon me if i leave u guys messed up!!

A foreign language teacher was explaining to her class that, unlike their English counterparts, French nouns are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

Things like ‘chalk’ or ‘pencil,’ she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral. Confused, one student raised his hand and asked, “What gender is a computer?”

The French teacher wasn’t sure which gender it was, so she divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. One group was comprised of the women in the class, and the other of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in masculine gender because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories.

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.

“Well, it was like this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around, noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it– stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt.” “That’s when I made my big mistake.” “What did you do?” asks the doctor.

“Well, I lifted the cow’s tail again and yelled to my wife, “Hey, this looks like yours!” “I don’t remember much after that!”

After numerous rounds of: "We don't even know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message: 370HSSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the F B I. No one could solve it so it went to the C I A, then to NSA.

With no clue as to its meaning, they eventually asked Britain's MI-6 for help. MI-6 cabled the White House:

"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

"The Five Commercials Aired During The Lewinsky/Walters Interview" (and yes, these really did air during the interview)

5. Victoria's Secret lingerie.

4. Burger King - featuring the song "It's My Party, and I'll Cry if I Want To."

3. Oral-B Deluxe.

2. A promo for the TV movie "Cleopatra," with the following voice-over: "When she was only 20, she seduced the most powerful leader in the world."

1. Maytag's Neptune washing machine - "It actually has the power to remove stains!"

A blonde was driving down a street under the scorching sun. She had an important meeting and when she reached the building where the meeting was going to be held, she discovered that there was no vacant space to park her car.

Desperate and confused, she looked up and said, "God, take pity on me and find me a parking place. If you do so, I will visit the church daily, donate half of my this month's salary and give up alcohol for the rest of my life."

Miraculously, an empty parking place appeared out of nowhere in front of the blonde. The blonde pleased by the discovery, looked up and said, "Nevermind, I found one myself!"

An old Italian woman is riding the elevator in a very

lavish New York City Office Building. A young and beautiful

woman gets into the elevator and smelling like expensive

perfume turns to the old Italian woman and says arrogantly,

"Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!" The next young and

beautiful woman gets on the elevator and also very arrogantly

turns to the old Italian woman and says, "Chanel No. 5,

$150 an ounce!" About three floors later, the old Italian

woman has reached her destiny and is about to get off the

elevator. Before she leaves, looks both beautiful women in

the eye, she bends over, and farts...

"Broccoli - 49 cents a pound."

An Italian tourist is visiting London for the first time

in his life and speaks no English. After looking at monuments

around town he gets lost. It is midday and he is getting hungry,...

he takes out his dictionary and starts looking at shops to find a

restaurant, Chemist = farmacia, No! Newsagent=Giornalaio. No! Real

Estate=Immobiliare. No! ...and so on until he he sees a shop with

the sign "HOT DOGS" He looks at the translation and thinks " They

eat dogs, how disgusting!... " After looking around some more, he

cannot find another restaurant and thinks: I'm hungry, if they can

eat dogs, so can I!.

He goes in, takes out his dictionary and with apprehension orders

one hot dog.

When the waitress brings him the hot dog, he looks at it for a

moment and says:

- Please... I will eat any part of of the dog ... except THAT ONE!...

Dilbert's "Salary Theorm" states that "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people." This theorm can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power. Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time Since: Knowledge = Power and Time = Money Then: Knowledge = Work / Money

Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge. Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.

Example: Managers and sales people make more money than the engineers and scientists.

THE EVOLUTION OF MATHEMATICS TRAINING OVER THE PAST FIFTY YEARS

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1970: A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set "M". The set "C", the cost of production contains 20 fewer points than set "M." Represent the set "C" as a subset of set "M" and answer the following question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" for profits?

Teaching Math in 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. Her cost of production is $80 and her profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math in 1990: By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees? There are no wrong answers.

Teaching Math in 1996: By laying off 40% of its loggers, a company improves its stock price from $80 to $100. How much capital gain per share does the CEO make by exercising his stock options at $80? Assume capital gains are no longer taxed, because this encourages investment.

Teaching Math in 1997: A company outsources all of its loggers. The firm saves on benefits, and when demand for its product is down, the logging work force can easily be cut back. The average logger employed by the company earned $50,000, had three weeks vacation, a nice retirement plan and medical insurance. The contracted logger charges $50 an hour. Was outsourcing a good move?

Teaching Math in 1998: A laid-off logger with four kids at home and a ridiculous alimony from his first failed marriage comes into the logging company corporate offices and goes postal, mowing down 16 executives and a couple of secretaries, and gets lucky when he nails a politician on the premises collecting his kickback. Was outsourcing the loggers a good move for the company?

Teaching Math in 1999: A laid-off logger serving time in Folsom for blowing away several people is being trained as a COBOL programmer in order to work on Y2K projects. What is the probability that the automatic cell doors will open on their own as of 00:01, 01/01/00?

One day, an American was touring Spain. After his day's sightseeing, he stopped at a local restaurant. While sipping his wine, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"

The waiter replied, " Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull's balls from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"

The American, though momentarily daunted, when he learned the origin of the dish said, "What the hell, I'm on vacation! Bring me an order!"

The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving a day since there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to serve you this delicacy!"

The next morning, the American returned, placed his order and was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"

The waiter promptly replied, "Si senor! Sometimes the bull wins!"

Top 24 Lines in Star Wars that Can Be Improved by Substituting the word "Pants"

1. A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master.

2. You are unwise to lower your pants.

3. We've got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down.

4. She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally Commander.

5. These pants may not look like much, kid, but they've got it where it counts.

6. I find your lack of pants disturbing.

7. These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use it.

8. Han will have those pants down. We've got to give him more time!

9. General Veers, prepare your pants for a surface assault.

10. I used to bulls-eye womp-rats in my pants back home.

11. TK-421. . . Why aren't you in your pants?

12. Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants.

13. Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board.

14. You look strong enough to pull the pants off of a Gundark.

15. Luke. . . Help me take...these pants off.

16. Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.

17. That blast came from those pants. That thing's operational!

18. Don't worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.

19. Maybe you'd like it back in your pants, your highness.

20. Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial Cruiser.

21. Yeah, well short pants is better than no pants at all, Chewie.

22. Attention. This is Lando Calrissean. The Empire has taken control of my pants, I advise everyone to leave before more troops arrive.

23. I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.

24. You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought

Computer Problem Report Form

Date: Mon, 3 Aug 1998 12:43:16 -0500

Computer Problem Report Form

1. Describe your problem: ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________

2. Now, describe the problem accurately: ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________

3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem: ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________

4. Problem Severity:

A. Minor__ B. Minor__ C. Minor__ D. Trivial__

5. Nature of the problem:

A. Locked Up__ B. Frozen__ C. Hung__ D. Strange Smell__

6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__

7. Is it turned on? Yes__ No__

8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__

9. Have you made it worse? Yes__

10. Have you had "a friend" who "Knows all about computers" try to fix it for you? Yes__ No__

11. Did they make it even worse? Yes__

12. Have you read the manual? Yes__ No__

13. Are you sure you've read the manual? Maybe__ No__

14. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No__

15. If you read the manual, do you think you understood it? Yes__ No__

16. If 'Yes' then explain why you can't fix the problem yourself. __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________

17. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred? __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________

l8. If you answered 'nothing' then explain why you were logged in? __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________

l9. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes__ No__

20. Does the clock on your home VCR blink 12:00? Yes__ What's a VCR?__

21. Do you have a copy of 'PCs for Dummies'? Yes__ No__

22. Do you have any independent witnesses to the problem? Yes__ No__

23. Do you have any electronics products that DO work? Yes__ No__

24. Is there anyone else you could blame this problem on? Yes__ No__

25. Have you given the machine a good whack on the top? Yes__ No__

26. Is the machine on fire? Yes__ Not Yet__

27. Can you do something else instead of bothering me? Yes__

Ever Wonder...

1. Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

2. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

3. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

4. Why don't you ever see the headline Psychic Wins Lottery?

5. Why is abbreviated such a long word?

6. Why is a boxing ring square?

7. Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

8. Why is it that doctors call what they do practice?

9. Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

10. Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on Start?

11. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you

turn down the volume on the radio?

12. Why is bottled lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing

liquid made with real lemons?

13. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

14. Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

15. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

16. Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

17. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

18. Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

19. If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?

20. If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

21. If you take an Asian person and spin him around several times, does he

become

disoriented?

22. Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?

23. What do chickens think cats taste like?

24. What do people in China call their good plates?

25. What do you call a male ladybug?

26. What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?

27. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

28. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?