Amanda F

So I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years and we absolutely love each other. He's my best friend in the whole world and he's practically perfect: often thinks about me, gives my back massages, my family loves him... he's just an all around really great guy who's finishing school to be a Paramedic. And we're both 20.

In the last school year we have really grown apart though. He's been so involved with his intensive Paramedic training that he hasn't had much time for me, and we both knew that would happen going into it. I just accepted it and became busy with my own schoolwork, activities, and jobs. Whenever he was with me all he would talk about was medical stuff and other than that all he really wanted from me was sex. I just listened and gave it to him and tried to make him happy for months but I eventually got tired of it and confronted him about it. I told him that I really didn't understand half of what he said and wanted to talk about other things, and that I was tired of just laying there for sex while he thought about me sleeping with other people, which has been his long time fantasy. I wanted him to just think about sleeping with me because of how much he loved me. He understood my point of view to a degree, but at the same time was unhappy with me for not being interested in his medical stuff and very unhappy with me about sex. After talking to him several times about how I was unhappy with our sex life and wanted to be thought of as special and wanted him to just enjoy being with me he would start trying to change a little, but eventually just went back to screwing me despite my unhappiness. Eventually I told him no more sex until he stopped obsessing over it and started treating me like a person he loved and cared about. He tried very minimally to change, but his only focus was on when he would be able to sleep with me again. We had a lot of angry verbal fights and he is refusing to understand my point that I want him to appreciate me and treat me like I'm special regardless of whether he gets sex or not. Sex should be something he gets because he cares about me so much and I feel so loved that I want to make him happy. We were just starting to get over this and I've slept with him a few times since our fight, but we just had another fight because I was exhausted and in a really bad mood for a couple days because of finals week and all kinds of things I had to do. I apologized for my bad mood and told him to not worry about it and I would just get over it soon, but after a couple days he was mad at me for my bad mood anyways. I snapped back to normal as soon as the weekend hit and I got some sleep but he's stayed mad at me, so we're not really on good terms right now.

Also, for the last two years he's gone on and off about us being in an open relationship. It was his idea in the first place and he eventually got me on board with the idea, but in the beginning it was really awkward for me to do anything because we all had the same guy friends in high school I didn't want to do anything with a stranger. So we decided that I needed to wait until I found a guy friend that wasn't friends with my boyfriend and then it would be okay to do things with. In the process of my boyfriend being so busy with school this year, I got a new job with several new guy friends and my boss occasionally hosts parties (once every month or two) where I've enjoyed getting to flirt and do as I please with other guys. I've hooked up with one other guy once and all the while I've been completely honest with my boyfriend about everything. When we started our fighting about sex he told me that he didn't want me doing anything with anyone until we were better again.

Well, this last weekend my boyfriend was busy again and my boss hosted another party and I went and had fun without telling my boyfriend because I knew he wouldn't be happy with me for going and would drill me with questions and be in a terrible mood and more angry with me. I just wanted to be around other guys who did think I was special and wanted to do things with me but respected me when I turned them down. I did end up sleeping with the one guy I'd slept with before because it was his birthday and we both wanted to. Also let me clarify, all of my guy friends are nice, but they are not people I would ever consider seriously dating or marrying one day. I just like having fun with them. I'm with my boyfriend for the long term, but the open relationship is just for more fun along the way.

Anyways, now I'm frustrated and don't know what to do. I am so tired of our fights. I just want him to treat me like he used to and to actually care about me. I also don't like that I didn't tell him about this last party, but I also know that he would eventually get over it if I did tell him, but I really don't want to go through more arguing to get to that point. I know that we care about each other and neither of us would rea

2 1/2 years is kind of an odd anniversary to celebrate, but it's more that my boyfriend and I both had the same day off and it coincided with this point in our relationship.

We will probably go out to eat, but we need something to fill the whole day.

We live in Eugene, Oregon, and have been to both the coast for surfing and the mountains for skiing/snowboarding recently. It's too cold to go to a lake still, so no jet skiing. We could go hiking, but I was hoping for something a little more comfortable and exciting.

We don't live within driving distance of an amusement park, and we've been to our state zoo and aquarium already.

I was hoping someone could suggest a fun activity for us to do together, that didn't necessarily require us to go very far. The only thing I thought of was to go to places all over town and take a picture with something for every letter of the alphabet. Except that seems like it would be better with groups of people. Are there any other ideas??? Thanks!

I'm 19 and living a little less than 2 hours from home, so I visit often. One sister just turned 11, and for her birthday I sent her on a scavenger hunt around the house for little gifts, ending in a huge, glittery home made certificate for a day with me at the mall and $25 to spend. We had a blast together, but I know that my soon to be 9 year old sister felt left out, and is expecting something just as good for her birthday, and I just don't know what to do.

I want to do something special for just the two of us so that we can spend quality time together, but I can't think of something equally special as what I did for her older sister, and I don't want to give her the exact same thing.

She's already had her first pedicure, so I don't think getting our nails done would be all that special. I spent about $30 on the older sister, and want to spend about the same for the younger, plus my time of course.

Please, she doesn't need any more makeup, webkinz, or toys. Help me!

I don't want to give gift cards or crazy romantic sex. Please help! Price range up to $300.

Hates massages

No video games/magazines

Hates to read

Doesn't watch many movies (and I already have a Blockbuster online subscription, so no movies)

Loves to surf and snowboard, but has already bought everything he could possibly need/want to do both

Doesn't need anything music related

Doesn't have a fave sports team

Doesn't want any type of jewelry

Doesn't know what he wants for Christmas

Already:

Has iPod/GPS/sound system in his car

Has a nice watch/cologne

Saw his favorite band in concert and he's not that into sporting events

Get him a new shirt or jacket every holiday

Went to Build a Bear

The only big thing that I can think of him needing is a new cell phone, so I'm considering that, but it's something his parents will probably get him anyways, and it's not very personal. I also might do the personalized soap idea, or do something with pictures, but are there any other ideas out there?