I took my 6 year ld step-daughter to get her ears pierced for Christmas. When we got home, I discovered she had stole something from the store ( a finger watch). She lied and told her father I bought it for her. I think she actually had herself convinced I did! I made sure he KNEW I DID NOT buy it! I made her take it back to the store, and tell the manager she stole it. My husband made her write 50 times "I will never steal again". My question is...How do I get over it??? It has been 6 months, and I can't believe how angry I still am about it!!! I told her if she EVER does it again,I will take her straight to the police station. Am I just being over stressed about it, should I just forget about it? I just can't seem to let it go. Do you think her punishment was enough? Serious answers ONLY please.
2006-06-20T12:18:23Z
Thanks to all who have answered so far (with the exception of a few). I think I am more angry at the fact she did it, not AT her. I haven't brought it up since it has happened, and I don't plan to. It has just been bugging me ever since, and I guess hearing from others with positive input makes me feel a little better. Thanks again!
curiositycat2006-06-20T08:09:06Z
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Everyone makes mistakes. The punishment DID fit the crime-she had to take it back, and your husband took it a step further. If she has shown no further behavior towards stealing, that probably worked. Sometimes it does take more than once-think about some skill you had to learn-did it take you only one time to pick it up? It isn't reasonable to still be angry about it 6 months later. She is a young child and she needs your love and support, not a grudge held for a mistake she made that long ago. Imagine if everyone you ever made a mistake with held their anger this long! Be angry at the behavior, not your step daughter. She NEEDS you. And you are obviously a good mother because you want to teach her correct behavior. Give her a hug and tell her you are proud of her when she does things right. LOOK for things she does right-praise her good behavior, not just punishing her bad behavior. Keep up the good parenting!
I think her punishment was a little too much . Writing something 50 times for a 6 year old is a lot. As a teacher I will tell you that making kids write sentences is not a constructive form of discipline and can cause them to learn to dislike writing. As for the way you feel. Is there something else there causing your feelings? After all she is only 6 years old. She is not a hardened criminal and I doubt a lot of thought went into her act. She is not evil and doomed for a life of crime . She is a little girl who made a mistake and probably won't repeat it. What if you made an error of some type and despite the fact you were punished , you were sorry and you had no intentions of doing it again , someone you loved and looked up to just couldn't really forgive you and harboured resentment? How would you feel? Now immagine if you were only 6 years old ? Finally , do you have children of your own? I can not help but wonder if this little girl was your own flesh and blood would you still be so angry 6 months later or could you have already chalked it up to a child making a mistake and moved on? Maybe you need to really look at your own motivation for the anger.
First, congrats on standing up against her to your husband. It upsets me to see a step mom let kids get away with thing just to keep the hubby happy. Second, you did good and now you have to let it go. Do not forget about it because you want to be aware to make sure it never happens again but you need to remember she is a kid and kids make mistakes. As far as the punishment, I agree with making her take it back, but the writing lines I don't know about. What did that do? I think taking something away from her that she really like is more of a punishment - such as movies or friend. But it is over and done for now. Hope and pray she learned her lesson and move on. If a second time does happen I would come down so hard that she would never in her life consider it again. My son stole something when he was younger and I made him return it. Before we did I told him that the store might call the cops and there was nothing I could do about it. I scared him so bad that I do not think he will ever do it again. Good luck.
1 of my daughters did the same thing at about the same age and I made her take it back and tell the store manager what she had done. He said it was alright and she could keep the stolen article but I would not let her have it and I was very angry at him. Needless to say she did it again because of what the store manager had said, so the second time I took her to the local police station and had an officer speak to her. He took her all over the jail and told her if she didn't stop stealing then this is where she would be living. She cried all the way home and never did it again. So, yes , what you did was correct and you need to let it go. But if she does it again take her to the police station. I called ahead first and told them what had happened so they were ready and waiting for her.Good luck.
i honestly think she got an appropriate punishment. after all she is only 6. i stole when i was 10 and i got beat with a stick until i had welts on my legs and b/c it was a week before my birthday i got my birthday party taken away from me, i was grounded, taken to the police station, ridiculed in front of my dad and grandparents friends, my dad made me type a letter saying why i did it and how sorry i was and then saved and printed it and put it on the fridge for the whole world to see. i am a grown woman now, and looking back i think they traumatized me. honest. i can tell you this, the reason i stole is unclear, but i was a kid whose parents were going through a nasty divorce and i think i wanted attention. unfortunately, the wrong kind. i say give the kid a break and try to let it go. perhaps you are more angry about the fact that she was disrespectful to you, used you and lied. she was wrong, but she's also only 6.