My 6 year old step-daughter??

Everyone makes mistakes. The punishment DID fit the crime-she had to take it back, and your husband took it a step further. If she has shown no further behavior towards stealing, that probably worked. Sometimes it does take more than once-think about some skill you had to learn-did it take you only one time to pick it up? It isn't reasonable to still be angry about it 6 months later. She is a young child and she needs your love and support, not a grudge held for a mistake she made that long ago. Imagine if everyone you ever made a mistake with held their anger this long! Be angry at the behavior, not your step daughter. She NEEDS you. And you are obviously a good mother because you want to teach her correct behavior. Give her a hug and tell her you are proud of her when she does things right. LOOK for things she does right-praise her good behavior, not just punishing her bad behavior. Keep up the good parenting!

I think her punishment was a little too much . Writing something 50 times for a 6 year old is a lot. As a teacher I will tell you that making kids write sentences is not a constructive form of discipline and can cause them to learn to dislike writing.

As for the way you feel. Is there something else there causing your feelings? After all she is only 6 years old. She is not a hardened criminal and I doubt a lot of thought went into her act. She is not evil and doomed for a life of crime . She is a little girl who made a mistake and probably won't repeat it.

What if you made an error of some type and despite the fact you were punished , you were sorry and you had no intentions of doing it again , someone you loved and looked up to just couldn't really forgive you and harboured resentment? How would you feel? Now immagine if you were only 6 years old ?

Finally , do you have children of your own? I can not help but wonder if this little girl was your own flesh and blood would you still be so angry 6 months later or could you have already chalked it up to a child making a mistake and moved on?

Maybe you need to really look at your own motivation for the anger.

First, congrats on standing up against her to your husband. It upsets me to see a step mom let kids get away with thing just to keep the hubby happy. Second, you did good and now you have to let it go. Do not forget about it because you want to be aware to make sure it never happens again but you need to remember she is a kid and kids make mistakes. As far as the punishment, I agree with making her take it back, but the writing lines I don't know about. What did that do? I think taking something away from her that she really like is more of a punishment - such as movies or friend. But it is over and done for now. Hope and pray she learned her lesson and move on. If a second time does happen I would come down so hard that she would never in her life consider it again. My son stole something when he was younger and I made him return it. Before we did I told him that the store might call the cops and there was nothing I could do about it. I scared him so bad that I do not think he will ever do it again. Good luck.

1 of my daughters did the same thing at about the same age and I made her take it back and tell the store manager what she had done. He said it was alright and she could keep the stolen article but I would not let her have it and I was very angry at him. Needless to say she did it again because of what the store manager had said, so the second time I took her to the local police station and had an officer speak to her. He took her all over the jail and told her if she didn't stop stealing then this is where she would be living. She cried all the way home and never did it again. So, yes , what you did was correct and you need to let it go. But if she does it again take her to the police station. I called ahead first and told them what had happened so they were ready and waiting for her.Good luck.

i honestly think she got an appropriate punishment. after all she is only 6. i stole when i was 10 and i got beat with a stick until i had welts on my legs and b/c it was a week before my birthday i got my birthday party taken away from me, i was grounded, taken to the police station, ridiculed in front of my dad and grandparents friends, my dad made me type a letter saying why i did it and how sorry i was and then saved and printed it and put it on the fridge for the whole world to see. i am a grown woman now, and looking back i think they traumatized me. honest. i can tell you this, the reason i stole is unclear, but i was a kid whose parents were going through a nasty divorce and i think i wanted attention. unfortunately, the wrong kind. i say give the kid a break and try to let it go. perhaps you are more angry about the fact that she was disrespectful to you, used you and lied. she was wrong, but she's also only 6.

I think the punishment was very appropriate for her age and the circumstances. You're right, she probably did convince herself that you bought the watch for her and just took it home without a second thought. You do need to let it go. Kids make stupid mistakes sometimes, and if she hasn't done it again she probably learned her lesson. She returned the item and served her sentence and at this point she needs to know you have forgiven her. If she feels like she's going to be punished for her mistakes long after she has made amends, she may start acting out in more rebellious ways just to see how far she can go. Good luck!

Yes get over it. They are still in the learning process. She learned it from somewhere.

Let me tell you about someone who couldn't let things go with Step-children....

I went into a marriage with two daughters of my own. Even though there were 4 other children in the house, my daughters were required to clean everything, do the dishes and all the housework. If they left even a spec on the floor they couldn't go anywhere or do anything. They were purpetually on restriction.

The other kids, however, could lie, cheat and so on but they were out the door the very same day.

My daughters weren't allowed to listen to music or read the books they wanted to. The other kids, however, could play video games all day or stay on the computer.

I finally got them away from the situation. When I came home every day I got a report on how 'bad' they were but didn't hear anything about the other kids. She couldn't get over the slightest thing.

Maybe counseling will help. She refused to go saying that there's nothing wrong with her, but obviously there was SOMETHING wrong.

I think you need to let this go. It is common for kids at her age to do dumb things now and then. She is going through a lot having to deal with a new stepmom and everything. The best thing you can do is put her FIRST, be the very best stepmom you can to her. Do not put such high expectations or pressure her, just love her the way you would want your daughter to be treated if there were a stepmom involved in her life. It doesn't seem rational to be this angry over a mistake 6 months after the fact. It sounds like you would be happier if he didn't have a child in the first place. The bottom line is, you married him AND his daughter. I hope you learn to be compassionate and caring of her. For goodness sakes' she is a CHILD.

i think you are more upset that she used you as a scapegoat so-to-speak . you did the right thing haivng her take it back to the store and telling the manager she stole it .

as far as was the punishment being enough only time will tell . i myself after my son stole candy from the store would search his pockets in the check out before finishing and paying to make sure he did not aquire anything . this embarrassed the heck out of him and made a point that you dont take anything that is not yours . i also paid for the item he stole , gave the item back to the store and took the money out of his allowance . it all really made a point .

he has not stolen anything since .

i would talk to her and let her know that it really upset you what she did and the fact she lied saying you bought it for her ontop of stealing leaves you to believe that she has no respect for you .

hope this helps you some .

yes she already paid for stealing the watch she is six years old why are you so angry at her? she is only a child you need some therapy because there is something wrong with you.and I'm not trying to be ignorant or judgmental I'm just giving you an opinion you are carreing a lot of anger around and you have no business doing that its stress full and not healthy.your issue is a lot deeper than a finger watch and that little girl.Stop picking on that little girl!!!!!!!! May bee when you do it makes you feel better but its not right!!!!!!!!!1get some help everything will be OK.Best of luck to you!!!!!