How do you get rid of country songwriters?
My wife has left and hasn't talked to me in four months, my daughter asked me to bail her boyfriend out of jail, one of my sons posted a picture of himself on myspace holding a machine gun, my other son was broadsided in our car by a hit and run driver, a lightning strike fried two of my TVs, my cable modem, and a VCR, and my dog died. The number of country songwriters in my front yard has gotten out of control. I tried firing a warning shotgun blast over their heads, but they thought that was a signal to start a country music festival and hoedown. A friend suggested playing Metallica at full volume, but another friend pointed out that would violate the Geneva Convention. Is there a legal, humane way to get these guys out of my front yard?