does my man love me?
My bf and I have been together for 14 years. He wont marry me. I recieved "to a good friend" valentines day cards for the first 5 years. He is 51 and I am 43 so my fear is growing old alone. He is good to me, just wont commit.
My bf and I have been together for 14 years. He wont marry me. I recieved "to a good friend" valentines day cards for the first 5 years. He is 51 and I am 43 so my fear is growing old alone. He is good to me, just wont commit.
Anonymous
Favorite Answer
after 14 years-I'd give up.
Anonymous
Well, I got married about 6 months ago at 40 and I never would have, I had no intention or desire to however, she was better at playing the game than I am. She slowly tightened the screws until I was doomed. Here's the thing: He's 51. Women aren't breaking down his door anymore no matter how good looking he once might have been. You're much younger, and you're a woman. Women almost always hold the upper hand if they know how to use it. Especially with a relationship that has lasted that long, you have the potential to wield vast untapped power. I know you probably don't like playing games, but unfortunately, sometimes in life you have to. You're going to have to start giving ultimatums of slow successive committment. First ask for a ring, then engagement, pick a wedding location, then the date. Each step takes him further but in slow acceptance until it's too late, and you've created such an aire of expectation with all of your friends and family that he will have no choice but to follow through. What you need to do, and you may not like this, is if he does not keep to the ulimatum, not immediatley, but within a few weeks you need to just outright tell him that you're going to start dating, and do it, right in front of him. Go out, talk openly with others on the phone. Start to do things to end your relationship, and call him less and less, even if you're living together. It'll drive him nuts. He'll try to give you what you want a little bit but then back off, like extending the engagement. When this happens, go right back to dating. how to get the ready and willing supply of dates? Go online to Match.com or similar site. You'll have all you need. If this sounds like experience. It is. Best of luck.
For ever in my Heart
so all your really missing is the piece of paper. Heck i know people just from reading on here that haven't been together as long as you to and there already divorced after 2 years. So this man may not want to commit your living together your doing everythign else after 14 years of marriage. If he was tired he'd leave by now and you him. Just enjoy this special bond you two have cause even married couples now days don't always last that long or if they do there not happy and there putting on a brave front. You really like this guy and still in love just as he is thats saying something.
Anonymous
14 years! That's not a commitment??
Anonymous
well i think anyone would need alot more information to answer this for you. But i would say he might love you but that he has deep seeded emotional issue that he needs to deal with . He is obviously scared to commit or he just doesn't want to go down that road now or agian. I know that i defiently wouldn't stand for that.