Should I dump my boyfriend for being too fat, even if he's trying to lose weight? What should I say?
I've been dating a guy for about a month or so. When we first started dating, I didn't realize how fat he was because he wore baggy clothes. He's really awesome, but he's just so god damn fat. He's trying to lose weight, and he's lost a bit of weight already... Unfortunately, I just really don't want to have sex with him. He's so cool, and if he actually got in shape, I would keep dating him -- but I can't fake sexual attraction and I just can't bring myself to want to sleep with him. We haven't gone all the way yet, but we've done everything else. I'm not sure what to do or what to say. We've been dating for a month and I feel like it would be mean not to sleep with him now. Should I sleep with him a couple times and then tell him it's not working out? At least give him something fun to remember? Or should I just flat out tell him "I really like you, but your fatness grosses me out and we can't be together unless you lose a lot of weight." I just don't know what to do here.
Also, I'm not trying to be mean here, even if it sounds that way. In fact, trying to be nice is why I'm asking for advice. I didn't think his weight would bother me so much at first, and now I feel like this really mean person. I want to be nice and say the right thing. And I'd even like to stay with him if things were slightly different.
Also, the reason I care about his fatness is because it grosses me out in bed, and I just can't enjoy the sex or want to have sex with him and he has a really high sex drive and i don't want to dread having sex with him.
***ALSO: I can't wait until he loses weight because he wants to have sex NOW and we've already been waiting over a month. And he's asking for it all the time...
i didn't ask him to start losing weight. he's trying to do that on his own. i would totally sleep with him if he lost like 25 pounds -- but that's probably a lot and he's unlikely to lose that much. i really do like him. but doesn't he deserve someone who doesn't find him gross? i just don't know if i should bring it up that he's fat or just dump him for no apparent reason -- say that it's not working out because we're too different.