Why so much hostility amongst Mommy's when it comes to the bottle vs. breast feeding?
No matter how many times we hear "breast is best", there are going to be Mommy's who have valid reasons for not breastfeeding, whether the reasons are medical, emotional, personal, or they have no instruction/support. This isn't a "failure", sometimes this is merely a choice. The important thing is enjoying your baby.
I breastfed all of my children and have been a breastfeeding instructor/peer counselor/support person for 23 years. I am 100% in favor of breastfeeding as the best way to feed your baby. I just can't seem to be able to wrap my head around how my choice to breastfeed my children, and support others who need the support to do the same, is somehow interpreted as my passing judgement on Mommy's who formula feed.
I'd like to hear from Mom's who formula feed, please.
Just trying to understand.
2007-06-02T06:30:24Z
My question is not an effort to get Mommy's to defend their choices about how to feed their babies, I believe that we all do whatever works for us.. What I am trying to gain is understanding about why you, personally, feel judged by those who made a different choice? And yes, having someone make inconsiderate and unwelcome comments is an obvious reason to feel judged.
Anonymous2007-06-01T19:11:38Z
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In todays world I am just happy to hear that a mother is feeding and taking care of their child. Breast or bottle I don't care as long as you love and take care of your babies. Let it go everyone-its ok to share your opnion without putting others down...the only wrong is the neglect and mistreatment of children going on right under our noses.
For the record I nursed till she had teeth at 4 months. My best friend wanted to nurse so bad but her daughter would have NOTHING to do with it and she ended up bottle feeding. My friend was so depressed that it was hurting me.
I breastfed my daughter for 3 months before I had to go on medication that wasn't good for breastfeeding. Everytime I pulled out a bottle in public it was inevitable that I'd get "such a young girl; doesn't know" looks from older ladies... and 4 out of 5 times I'd have to listen to it too. It's SO hard to look the other way everytime. To smile and nod. To say thank you for the words. Think back to when you were a brand new Mom and there wasn't a day that went by that someone felt the need to tell you how to do something, change something, improve something. While it's all really helpful and done with the best of intentions, it takes a toll on you, doesn't it? It makes you question if you'll be a good enough Mom. After enough, you'll begin to get bitter, protective, prejudgemental. No, I didn't do it on purpose or with predetermined thoughts of ill will toward these ladies, but I will admit that I didn't do too much to calm these feelings either.
Secondly, I just gave birth to twins 2 1/2 weeks ago. It was a surrogacy, and the twins were going home out of state. I asked a question here for advice on dealing with *not* breastfeeding. Half of the responses I received were straight up mean, telling me (what I ready know) about how breastfeeding is best and I should do it anyway. It didn't matter that I even explained myself and my reasoning for not breastfeeding, I still felt guilty over something I couldn't even control.
I'm not bitter; I understand at least my side. I think breastfeding is wonderful and the best thing a woman could do for her newborn. I'm also aware that there are circumstances where it's just not possible for her to be able to breastfeed. It just amazes me at how many closed-minded people are out there that are quick to dish their simple thoughts.
I hope that gives you a view from this side of the fence!
When I decided to formula feed my first child(after unsuccessfully trying to breastfeed), the nurses at the hospital wouldn't give me any help at all. I didn't know how much she should be eating or how often and if I asked questions, I was ignored. While the successful mothers were showered with advice and help. I felt like I had done something wrong. I left the hospital feeling like an utter failure with no support. Then when I didn't even try to with my second the nurses were even worse. At one point they refused to give a bottle for my son, saying you have food in you already, just give it to him. Then they had a counselor come in and ask me why I was hurting my child by not breastfeeding him. That is why I personally can't stand the holier that thou mothers who think you are a piece of garbage and are hurting your child by not breastfeeding. I don't have a problem with people who can breastfeed, I just don't like the ones who try to force it done your throat. I will bottle feed my third child and for once I will not feel guilty about doing it. I love my kids and would do anything for them, I just can't breastfeed. These have been my experiences so I hope that helps you understand why some people are so touchy on the subject.
Whether you Bottle or Breastfeed...is really just a personal choice! We've preferred Breastfeeding,only because we personally feel it's healthier,and more economical! I really cannot recall if anyone we have known has ever suggested that our choice to Breastfeed,is a bedamning indictment on those who choose Formula! You also have to remember that at one time-when we were Kids...they thought Formula was Corn Syrup and Milk in a Bottle! Todays Formula's are alot more balanced nutritionally...than what they were in the past! Also how Breastfeeding is regarded...depends on the "Social Attitude's" of where you live,and to some extent,the Social Circle's that you are in! Some people get really antsy about Women breastfeeding in Public! We do not feel it's offensive either way. Just a thought!
I have been given my pump at Wal Mart and it replaced into basically approximately 30-40 money and replaced into truly stable. It replaced into evenflo sort if that facilitates. in case you get a pump ineffective night feedings can nevertheless be divided between the adults interior the homestead. I tremendously advise getting bottle nipples and binkies that maximum bear a resemblance to the breast to help latching and so the toddler wont get at a loss for words. My established practitioner nevertheless allowed for a million cup of espresso on the same time as i replaced into breast feeding and with alcohol you will desire to attend a minimum of two-3 hours consistent with 8 ounce alcoholic beverage. you nevertheless would desire to ask your established practitioner before taking medicine although that's plenty much less inflexible than once you're pregnant. there is TONNNNSS of spectacular reward to breast feeding for the two mom and toddler. You burn around an further 500 energy an afternoon by utilising breast feeding which permits you lose your weight plenty swifter-- I lost all my toddler weight with none stunning weight-reduction plan or workout. It additionally facilitates your newborn's immune device and in case you seize something, your breast milk will produce antibodies to guard the toddler against it. It additionally dramatically decreases the possibility of your newborn ever starting to be to be obese. ever. yet another of one of my widespread reward is then you certainly can stay away from having a era for a on the same time as and in case you do have them they are in many cases no longer painful and extremely easy. wish that solutions your question & congrats on the hot toddler!!