If your husband is not meeting your sexual needs....what do you do?
I am wondering what others do that are in my boat...and their husbands won`t have sex. What do you do? Do you just busy yourself in other parts of your life and try to forget about it? Do you get sexual satisfaction in other ways? Do you go elsewhere?
2007-08-16T12:29:45Z
Hmmm.......I have talked to my husband and things got better briefly and then have got worse again. I did have an affair for a while....but I broke that off completely....it was totally wrong and just a way of escaping and not thinking about the issues in my marriage...
I really want to leave.....but am really scared that I will lose custody of my child(we live in his country, which usually supports their own....and will often go against foreign mothers)
I have been the one looking at porn on the internet....but though it`s ok at the time.......really it`s not that satisfying.
I guess I just want to know what others have found they can live with........
Anonymous2007-08-16T12:32:37Z
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This is probably not a long term situation, think about using a vib, and get him turned on by watching you with the vib. Also, talk to him about needing more attention.
Coming from the other Side of the mar rage. I am the Man that was not having sex with my wife. It was not because I did not want to but more or less the signals and out right denial from her. I have been married for 5 years, I am in Iraq now for the second time. I knew she was going out side the mar rage and could not explain why. She became "Cold" to me when she first started it but I don't think she realized it. in the way she was acting to me she did not want to have any thing to do with me. It made me feel like I was not pleasing her like I should. The more i tried to do so the more she resisted. and sex became few and far between. The bad thing was she had the nerve to tell me that I did not want to have sex any more and it made her feel like I was not attracted to her. But after being told no 1,00s of times and told I was only being lovey dovey because I wanted sex when it was just normal affection I gave up. Now She says we have a communication problem and that she has fond some and we are getting a divorce. I am not saying that you are the root cause this time but think how your actions could mislead him and communicate.
First of all- talk to him about it. Why is he not having sex with you? Try spicing things up a bit, or maybe go to counseling. How is the rest of your relationship?
I had this problem for awhile, and I tried keeping busy and to forget about it, but that didn't work. I was so frustrated, because I didn't want to cheat, and masterbation just doesn't do it for me! So I kept talking to him about it and was able to understand his side of it. Mostly he was stressed, tired from work, and we were both worn out from our toddler and infant. I told him that I was tempted alot to cheat because he wasn't fulfilling my needs, and masterbation is not enjoyable to me. I think once I kept bringing up the subject and getting him in the mood he woke up and things got better.
1st try talking to him, and do everything in your power to show him how horny you are and get him in the mood. Try new things. Buy new lingerie, start working out, get a tan. Make him feel comfortable when you talk to him, don't get accusatory, defensive, or needy. Try to be understanding, it probably has nothing to do with you. 2. Masterbate- there are lots of good toys 3. Divorce, separate, or just find someone else!
My relationship also started improving once we went to counseling. We had a lot of issues to deal with that kept us from fully connecting. I think if things didn't start improving I would have separated from him.
first, I talk to your husband...you do not indicate if he is even aware of how you feel.
2nd try different sexual techniques, porn, toys, seductive clothing, etc.
Ultimately after the talk, after the other sexual techniques...if these do not work...you must decide is this a marriage you can stay in ... you can either get divorced or obtain a FWB on the side, who knows your hubby may even approve because it will let him off the hook