I just wanted some opinions and see what everything thinks on if I should explain this to him or not.
This guy I very recently started dating (I'm sure you are getting tired of hearing this LOL). Sun. morning his cats were fighting and I said something like "At least they can't talk". Then he said "I know there 2 girls that can't lie to me then or hide stuff from me". Well he doesn't know this, but my cousin told me that 4 months ago he broke up with his ex gf due to constant lying and hiding things from him, he just had enough with it.
2007-08-22T10:19:03Z
So that morning I saw I had a call that I had missed and I didn't recognize the number. I called it and when I got the voicemail I found out it was my ex bf from 3 yrs ago that randomly called OUT of the blue. He must have gotten a new cell phone number. Well as SOON as I realized it was him, I hung up and said "S***" and he turned around and said "What's wrong". Well I immediately said "Oh it's nothing". Well afterwards it started to bother me that because of the already trust issues he has from his previous ex, that he might take that as "Wow she is already hiding things from me". I didn't tell him for reasons that I didn't want to involve him with silly drama, so it's a double edged sword for me! I mean maybe he didn't give it a 2nd thought, but in the off chance he did I don't want him to think I am "normally like that" as I'm a very honest person! If I were to explain, I wouldn't go into great detail.
2007-08-22T10:19:20Z
For those that think I should try and explain it to him, if you could give me an example of how I should put it to him simply?
What should I do?
Windy2007-08-22T10:25:34Z
Favorite Answer
Tell him how you explained it here. That is was a number you did not recognize...you called back...realized who it was....hung up and wished it did not happen. Tell him you did not want to hear from your old bf. You can't live your life with the fear of him not trusting you because of an ex. You are not that person who hurt him. He has to come to terms with his past and not put his trust issues on you.
I think you're making more drama out of it than there needs to be. Why should you be freaked out by a call from your ex, and why would you hang up on him? A simple conversation with an ex is hardly a betrayal to your current boyfriend, (you're not having phone sex or talking romance with him, for heaven's sake) and you could have turned it to great advantage by letting your bf hear your conversation with the ex and informing the ex of how happy you are with your new bf, and you hope he's doing well too. So you're acting guiltly about something that you haven't even done, and wouldn't be wrong even if you did.
Go ahead and admit the truth to your boyfriend, and laugh about it. Let him know that you were so eager to protect his feelings and have him be the only man in your life that you completely overreacted when suddenly faced with a blast from the past. Show him what you wrote to us, even. It's really not a big deal, and he shouldn't overeact either.
Look, you're stressing way too much. You did nothing wrong. You didn't force your ex to call you, and you didn't call him back or anything. There is no relationship there. So, big deal? It really was nothing, just like you said.
Now, your current boyfriend very obviously has some trust issues that are on his mind a lot, he thinks about it even when he hears two cats fighting. So, don't be sucked in to the trap of having to "prove" yourself and your worth to him all the time. He saw you as trustworthy or he wouldn't be dating you.
You need to continue to be yourself, and to live and act according to your own personal morals and ethics.
If IF IF your boyfriends gets worse obsessing about this trust issue, get him to counselling, and fast. The last thing you want is for him to devolve into a controlling, jealous, angry man because he hasn't dealt with his issues from the past.
You need to talk to him. Being open and able to talk about anything is the #1 key to a great relationship. Just let him know that you have no interest in your ex and you don't even know how he go you # or why he called. It shouldn't matter how long you've been together, you need to be honest from the beginning of the relationship or it might not last long. There's no point in being in a dishonest relationship, and besides if he truly cares for you he should be understanding. Just be honest with him and everything will be okay. Trust me, im speaking from experience. Good Luck!!!
Explain it to him: Even if he did not give it a second thought he will respect that you are dedicated to being honest.
Example: "Honey, Can I talk to you for a minute? (Yes, Dear) I did something stupid the other day and it has been really bothering me (Umm ok) Well, remember the other day when I got a phone call that upset me and you asked me about it and I said it was nothing? (yes I remember) Well the phone call was from an old boyfriend of mine and I have no idea what he wants or how he got my number. In the shock of the moment I told you it was nothing. (ohh ok) I know it is silly but I am an extremely honest person and little white lies bother me, so I could not feel better unless I explained it to you. (Ohh honey I love you so much you are so beautiful and perfect... I did notice but I thought I was just being jealous... Thanks for clearing it up) I love you to baby you are the best!