He's unemployed, has 2 sons that he does not support & wants one of his sons to stay over the house every weekend. We have no warning that this is going to happen, it is a spur of the moment thing. My husband calls me at the last moment to warn me that his grandson is spending the weekend...again. I feel resentful, am I wrong?
xila31
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Here's the thing, talk to your husband and let him know how you feel because keeping it inside will ruin your relationship. However, since this doesn't seem to be your son, then you need to let your husband deal with him. There may be things going on that you don't know about, which might seem unfair but father and son have a history before you. I know it can be hard when people get put into little boxes all the time (that's what we do, it's our nature,) but sometimes people don't fit into those boxes and they need help. Now, you say he doesn't support his kids, but he is having one stay over with him, and that is not a bad thing. Kids need their parents and if he's trying to spend time with his son, it is wrong to take that away.
Now, you also need to look at yourself. Are you jealous of the fact that he let his son, (some other woman's child,) into your home? That may sound rude but honestly it does happen. You don't like the little boy? Why not? Your husband is his grandfather. Do you have children from this or another marriage. Try to put the shoe on the other foot. What if he was your son? Just remember: you never know when hard times will fall on you, and when they do would you want people standing around and judging?
Oh yeah, the idea that anyone can find a job and move out into their own place within 2 weeks is absolutely ridiculous! It takes at least one month, and that is only if you find a job the first week of your search. Plus, many companies won't hire you if you have a bad credit rating. Ironic, isn't it? You can't pay your bills because you don't have a job, so your credit is bad. So, no one will hire you so you can pay your bills and improve your credit. Awesome!
revsuzanne
No you are not wrong to feel resentful.
You have been invaded!
Get your husband on the same page FAST.
Issue the order that the adult son gets a job FAST and gets out within 2 weeks. Keep on him about it.
Your husband needs to put this freeloader to WORK while he is looking for work... we're talking major landscaping and painting projects. The bigger a pain-in-the-rump it is to stay there, the less likely he will want to stay. Put the grandkids to work so they will not want to come over either.
If he is still not looking, you need to consider kicking him out anyway... he can find one of his friends to mooch off of.
Get ready to change out the locks on your new house immediately afterward.
Anonymous
No, you should talk to your husband about it. Tell your husband to lay down some ground rules or you are. tell the son to get his sorry a** out and find a job and start paying support for the children and you, or either get his sorry a** out of your home. he's 22, time to grow up and get responsibilities. he acted like a man an had kids, now act like a man and support them. I'm sorry but I have no remorse for someone like him.
MiMi ♥
I can understand how you feel! That would upset me as well. No one likes a BUM especially when its framiy! I have been in a similar situation and it does not get any better if you do not snip it in the butt now. I would talk to your husband and make sure he has plans to get a job, move out, make a living, ect.