My husband and I seperated back in august. He sent me back to our home state, and stayed in the other state. We decided to try again. He was going to come home to be with me at the end of this month. He has no decided that he doesn't want to come home and he wants me to come there. I'm freaking out A LOT I don't want to uproot everything again to go back down to a man that may not even truely want me. It just seems like he does whatever he wants to do and if I don't follow along with it that I wasn't meant to be with him or something. I asked him the other day if he truelly wanted me back or if he just wanted us to work so he didn't have another divorce on his record.....his response was "I'm willing to try but if you don't want to than stay there" ......how is that supposed to make me feel wanted?? anyways....what should I do? there is 3 kids involved. and as of right now he has no idea when he wants me to come down.......can we make it through all this on just a whim??
2007-10-15T20:41:41Z
and I don't know if this makes a difference but he has our boy (I inherited him with mairrage) and I have our girls (twins) shouldn't we try and get all 3 kids together? or is it best to still cut all ties?
2007-10-15T20:42:30Z
and they are all under 3!
Lisa W2007-10-15T20:42:12Z
Favorite Answer
He sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. If you are content where you are, stay. If he wants you HE can do the moving. Its alot easier for a single person than it is for a family to just up and move. Give him a timetable to make up his mind....past that date, serve him with papers and get on with your life.....it's better than your kids in a constant state of upheaval.
dTheres a lot of 'alarm bells' going when I read this. If he was really serious about getting back together then he would make the effort to be with you, as you have three kids and it's not good for them to keep being up rooted. Secondly, his response to your question, that is not a 'loving' answer at all. Personally, just cut your ties and get divorced, I feel there will only be problems if you do as he says - a relationship is give and take, he's shown he can take, he needs to give.
What I am wondering is, where is all his love, compassion, and concern for you and your children? It seems to be all, 'me, me me!'. He might be confused, but if he loves you that should be evident in him showing more selflessness, taking into consideration your needs and how this situation is difficult for YOU. It looks like you are trying to endure and pull through, but he's just dragging whoever's along for a ride to God knows where. I don't know about divorce... what are your religious beliefs? However keep in mind that you have to think of kids and not even just you. He does not seem to be doing that.
Stay where you are. He can send the child support money by mail or direct deposit. Uprooting the kids again is not the answer. A new husband and good step father is. Good Luck.
bring all the kids together under one roof and get a divorce. he sounds like if it's not convenient for him then he doesn't go for it. so, quit compensating for his lack of input. i agree with your ambivilance that if he's "take it or leave it" attitude doesnt' change to " i need you and can't live with out you", then don't waste your time, energy and money moving back. go with your gut instinct on this one. i think you have a strong instinct. stay strong with your decision to stay put for now. the kids are the most important thing. they need to all be together under on roof with a stable parent. good luck