In today's culture, I often hear men say things like:
"If I take a girl home, I expect her "area" to be trimmed." " I want a girlfriend who has enough experience in bed so that she knows how to please me." " I hate it when you have a one-night stand, and the woman just keeps calling you to see you again."
Wasn't the whole point of sexual liberation to free ourselves from the expectations of men? Do you think we succeeded in this goal? Or did we actually free men from our own expectations of commitment? Do men these days expect more or less of the women they are casually dating?
2007-11-01T11:32:37Z
Edit to Rebirth: You're a bit off-topic, but I will try to answer. Yes, I would support a person's right to express strong feelings against the leaders of any faith. I also supported the right of the neo-nazi party to march in Skokie, IL, which was a very big deal in the Jewish community. (Look it up online) I also supported the right of the residents to protest their march. I'm big on free speech.
Mama's on the half tip2007-11-01T10:04:29Z
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Women's liberation and "sexual revolution" has devolved our role as women, wives and mothers.
The statements from the men shown in the question deal solely with sex. Unfortunately, sex for women has been equated with love for millenia - and that ain't about to change anytime soon. If women are so willing to give away the most intimate and precious aspect of their physical self - men will not respect women - and will in essence, as noted in the above statements, be treated like objects or whores. Men become only concerned with the physical - and the sexual revolution has removed all aspects of love, committment, intimacy, and devotion from the act. It is no longer making love, it is rutting, and any animal can rut.
Ever wonder why so many women are unhappy in their relationships with men? The truth is,men do not respect women who sleep around with many other men (I don't care what men say about preferring a woman with experience - it is the truth.) The idea that women should be able to have sex any time they want to just like men ignores the fact that the majority of women will/do equate sex with love and committment. It is in reality a part of who we are as women - a biological byproduct of our evolution.
However, we have been sold a bill of goods by the libbers who believe that women can be [like] men. We can't, ladies. Let's face it, the act of having sex for us is very, very intimate. We are the ones who get pregnant, we are the ones who carry the child in our wombs for 9 months. We are the ones who go through hours of labor, and we are the ones who give birth and raise the children. We need to have a man who is going to stand by us and his children and be the father. And if we choose instead to have an abortion, we are the ones who bear the emotional scars and torment of having sucked life from our bodies - life that is a part of our flesh and blood. It's like killing a part of yourself that will never live or flourish again. And the guilt and pain is there forever. But men rarely (if ever) have to live with that kind of guilt or pain. We are not the same.
The plain truth is, we are the ones who need to set our expectations of what we want from men. We are the ones who call the shots when it comes to relationships and what we are willing to accept or not accept. If we don't set the standard for a higher level of commitment prior to our physical union, women are doomed to have too many unfulfilling and disastrous relationships. And then women, because they think so little of themselves, allow men to set the expectations of what kind of whore they want us to be.
The plain truth is, you will go through a lot of men who will take advantage of your so-called liberation because you don't respect the most precious asset you have - and that is the very asset that women seem to hold in the least regard nowadays. We are fed the BS that we can do whatever we want with our bodies from a very young age, an attitude that is swamped in self-indulgent thinking, we aren't helped to understand the impact this has on our future and our happiness. Yes, we can do whatever we want - but it doesn't change our hearts or our biological and emotional need for love and intimacy. And when you end up going through man after man and being treated as if you are no more than a warm place to put it, giving them the sex they want in the hopes that they'll love you for it, you reinforce that you do not hold dear your value as a woman or respect yourself.
You want men to love and respect you? Then do the right thing. Do not fall for the lie. When men finally understand that sex means more to women than just orgasmic fulfillment, and that to have a meaningful relationship (i.e., physical and emotional/intimate) with women means they are going to have to dig deeper within themselves to have that relationship, that is when women will find their true fulfillment.
Love isn't easy to find... it takes patience, work and a sense of dedication to the values that you are worth having as a girlfriend, and worth having as a wife and mother. If a man doesn't want that kind of relationship, then to be honest, there are darn few women who will want that kind of man in their lives.
Fortis cadere cedere non potest2007-11-01T12:27:25Z
I think women pretty much got what they were asking for even if they didn't know they were asking for it. If one wants to sexually liberated that is a choice you make for yourself, not a choice that someone else makes for you. One can choose to ignore completely the "expectations of men" if one so desires. That doesn't mean that one is free of the consequences that may follow such a decision.
Liberation implies setting free someone. If women and men are to be equally liberated that means that men and women get to choose who they date/marry freely. Whatever criteria they have for the person that they date/marry is up to the individual to decide. So this implies that men can say things like "I hate it when you have a one-night stand, and the woman just keeps calling you to see you again" because it is his freedom of choice to do so. Nobody can be sexually liberated if they are somehow limited in their performance of sex acts with another consenting human being. The questions asked seem to imply a limit on the choices of men.
I'll sum up. Men have freedom of choice to choose their partners. Women have this as well. Men have expectations that influence their decisions and they should be allowed to have expectations. Women should be allowed to have them as well. Sometimes these expectations come into conflict with each other and if one person or the other doesn't wish to date/marry/see the other person again because of the conflict then so be it. It's all about freedom of choice which all humans ought to have. Otherwise nobody is liberated and some become slaves to others' whims.
On a side note, one persons' freedom of choice stops where another persons' begins.
Well, no one in thir right mind pays any attention to Paglia. Not because she's a woman, but because she's a nut-job. It's been mixed. There were a LOT of women who never had truly pleasurable sexual experiences their whole lives. That's sad. It HAS empowered many women in many ways. "lowered them to the level of men"? No. Not all women thoughtlessly persue sex. Not all who have lots of sex end up "high and dry." No, we're not bound to lose. No, it's not true that all men 30 or older marry girls; many prefer mature women, grown-ups. (Marriages work better when both spouses are grown-ups.) There have always been men who marry much younger women. Pretending that never happened before is silly. Pretending all men are mindless sex-fiends is demeaning to men, and false.
Nope, we can't control other people's expectations. The point was to give ourselves the opportunity to live according to our own choices. If a woman makes bad choices in the men that she dates, then she has to live with that as well. That's what adults do, they accept the consequences and learn to choose more wisely.
Edit: by the way, even though I'm married, I know that marriage and commitment are not the be all and end all for every woman. We can't base our support for the "liberation" of women on what we think most women want. Everyone is an individual. Sexual freedom may have made marriage less automatic and permanent for some, but that's not necessarily bad for society. It also relieved women who were feeling trapped and obligated to be married no matter how unhappy the marriage was. It relieved them from the expectation that they MUST be married in order to be deemed acceptable.
Well for one, I expect the guy to do some kind of grooming "down there" so men aren't the only ones with expectations. You can't control people's expectations, and some people are going to have unreasonable ones. The one thing I think the liberation helped women realize that they too can have sexual expectations. I think women feel much more comfortable telling men now, "this is what I want in bed" and getting what they want out of sexual relations.