Family Issues?

Question

My Mom is emotionally unstable.  She won't get the help that she needs. It has gotten to the point that I don't want anything to do with my Mom.  I have two siblings that agree with me.  However, I have a sister that disagrees with us.  My renegrade sister is upset that I nor my siblings will have anything to do with my Mom.  She sends us nasty text messages because we won't send money, make calls, ect...  I have a family and I don't think I should put my resources and time into a relationship that is doomed for failure.  I should also mention, my children  and hubby don't feel conforable around my Mom, and my sister realizes this.  What can I do to help my sister see my point of view.  Do you think I'm being selfish?

bubbas mom · Answer

First of all you can make a decision, if your mother decides to receive help will you make an attempt to maintain a relationship with her no matter how small of a relationship.  Your sister is wrong in sending you nasty text messages, if she can not accept that your mother has a problem then maybe she has a reality problem and needs to seek help herself.  I have a similar situation I make a phone call to check on the situation and a brief visit every so often.  I do not make my children visit or call that is their choice.  Maybe your whole family needs to have a visit with a counselor and work the situation out.  You can approach the subject that you need them to go with you to a therapist to help you resolve they way you feel about the situation.  There really is no way to know if your mother and sister will ever realize there is a problem, but they never will if you don't try anything.  Good luck and I hope everything works out for you and your family.

wondermom · Answer

The two of you need to agree to disagree.  She has a right to do what she feels is right and you have a right to do what you feel is right.  You don't have to agree but instead just respect the other Ono's decision and choices.  

If your sister can't or won't do that, then you may have to cut her off for a while too.  

In my personal experience the one making the most stink is the one that has the most guilt about past things.  They are the ones that cannot let go.

Family Issues?

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