I have a friend who has been dating this girl for not even a year. She is 22. He is 30. She is VERY controlling. Turns up pregnant right before Christmas. Now, they are getting married this weekend because he says "It is the right thing to do". He does not love her. ALL of his friends and family HATE her and tell him he is making a HUGE mistake! He insists "It will work out. It has to work out."
She has him trapped and knows it. She is SUCH a *****. He is not allowed to hang out with the guys. Not allowed to talk to his girl friends (we have been friends for 6 years! His best friend and him since they were 12!).
Now, she is telling his sister and us that she is not going to share her baby. She is not going to let anyone see or hold him. SHE IS SERIOUS and will do it!
HOW can we get through to our friend that he is making a HUGE mistake?? We try and tell him, family, friends, his own mom! But he says "It has to work. It just has to"
What would you do??
2008-02-26T12:16:57Z
I am not in love with him. I am married with kids. He is just a good friend of ours. You will understand when you are an adult that you can have friends of the opposite sex and not “be in love with them.” In fact, you will come to realize that opposite sex friends are very valuable.
As far as his part, he understands that it took two to get pregnant. She trapped him in the way that she said she was on BC pills. She failed to mention they ran out and she never refilled them. Her sister told Keith that she did not refill them on purpose. She wanted to have a baby with him.
As far as loving her, they were still in the dating phase. Love takes awhile to build. Also, once she got preg. she turned into the heinous *****. She wasn’t always so bad.
?2008-02-26T12:11:12Z
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as much as everyone's concerned about this " mistake " everyone is going to end up pushing him away.
In reality if this marriage is really doomed he's going to see it right now he's not in the same mind frame as everyone else is. If he feels like everyone is attacking the person he's going to marry he's going to withdraw. If you all are close that friendship is one to save.
I know you all can't stand her but in no way act out on it. Many of you may not feel he's seeing clearly but he's made decisions and although everyone may not agree it seems like he's going to go thru with them.
Hopefully his fiancee will get over the whole friends thing but until she does be civil if he really wants you in his life he will see to it.
This woman doesn't have vodoo powers he's grown man and if your friendships mean a lot he's going to tell her how it is and how much it means to him that all remain close and he'll see to it that it happens.
All you can do is warn him and be there for him when/if things don't work out.
He's a grown man and has to make his own decisions. There may be more to the story than he's sharing with you. Have an open mind and take the time to get to know the woman. Be kind to her even if she doesn't behave that way towards you. Give her no reason to make his life any more miserable.
By the way, the "not sharing the baby" attitude will likely disappear when she needs a babysitter.
If the marriage does take place, don't show any bitterness towards the bride or the groom. If he's willing to make the best of it, be supportive. He will need you more than he realizes it at this point.
I'd sit back and watch the show. Sometimes the best way to learn is to make a mistake. The worst is already done - an unplanned child is on the way. There's nothing you can do about other people's choices - they have to make them themselves. It's sad that at 30, a person isn't mature enough to date someone who is a decent human being, but growing up takes longer for some people - and no matter what you tell them, it's not gonna speed up the process.
Only your friend can choose the right answer hun, if she that much of a control freak then if they do marry, bet ya dollars to doughnuts it won't last, when he gets sick and tired of her nonsense, then he will get out of the relationship on his own, all you can do is be a good friend and let him know that you support his decision and will always be there for him no matter what.Time will tell.As far as the gal is going on and on about different issues, shes just blowing off steam,ignore it, be the better person.
i grow to be engaged while i grow to be 24 and married while i grow to be 26 Our wedding ceremony colorings have been a dwindled peach and chocolate brown We each and every had our brothers as witnesses (2 total), it grow to be an extremely small wedding ceremony (14 human beings have been there which contain us and our reverend) Our reception grow to be held a month after our wedding ceremony, and we did no longer have assigned seating, maximum folk did no longer sit down, it grow to be a dinner occasion We had a small chocolate cake and then a type of cakes for human beings to come to a decision on, i think of there have been 5 distinctive alternatives We went to Maui for 2 weeks We have been given married in Gleneden coastline, OR, a tiny city on the coast, in simple terms exterior of Lincoln city