Has anyone actually left a sexless marriage?

Question

I have been married for almost 8 years and my husband has had little or no interest in sex for most of that...especially after the birth of our daughter 4 years ago. (We actually went without sex at all for the first 3 years after she was born). 
I have talked to him about it. He promised to give me more physical affection - hugs kisses etc as well as sex......but quickly falls back into the same old patterns. Last week when I wouldn`t let him give the same old tired excuses and promises, he admitted that now I am a mother he can`t see me as anything else. And he can`t see how that can change. I have been going to the gym to get in shape, and have a great new hairstyle. 
I just don`t want to keep on doing this. I know that sex is not the only thing in a marriage, but it is important to me.
I hate to break up my daughters family, which is what has kept me here for the last few years.....but I feel that I have wasted the last 8 years of my life.

J R · Accepted Answer

being a man who will soon be ready to leave his sexless marriage, the answer is yes. marriage should be a complete package. mind, body and soul. partners in everything. check into the custody laws, etc. and leave. he sounds like a real ***. its usually the woman who is not interested in sex. so sounds like there is a real problem there. maybe he is getting someplace else. sorry, good luck!

~bobbi~ · Answer

See if your husband will see a counselor!

My husband has major back issues, so we pretty much haven't had sex the whole time we have been married..... I understand what you mean!!!

Please e-mail me if ya wanna chat about it!!! I know it's not his fault, but I do feel left out!

ADDED- there are MANY reasons why he doesn't 'want' to. Physical, chemical, emotional, etc. When is the last time he has seen a Dr? He should get a thorough check up. Have you thought about marriage counseling? You could find out what's up and how to work through it. Does he treat you good in all other ways? If lack of sex is the ONLY reason you want to get a divorce, don't do it! There are many other things to do- Dr, counseling, etc. When was the last time you talked to him about this? Does he know how serious you are? Good luck!

mary r · Answer

It sounds to me like perhaps he is afraid of getting you pregnant again and that is why he will not have sex with you. One thing you may try is, don't ask him just start the foreplay yourself and no matter what he says don't stop. Continue until he is so excited he could not stop even if he wanted to. Or perhaps you could take him on a weekend trip somewhere with just the two of you and no kids around. Do all you can to get him in the mood and that might help him. Whatever you decide to do I wish you all the luck. If all of that doesn't work just take out your toys and start the job on yourself while he watching. Sometimes that gets a man excited. Good Luck

Anonymous · Answer

I have never been in your situation but nothing good ever comes out of a separated family especially one where divorce is involved. NOTHING! The repercussions that ripple through the family are unbelievable. Here are some stories.
http://www.divorcefire.com

Anonymous · Answer

Well, I thought my sex life sucked! Me and the hubby just had the same discussion earlier. Although it hasn't been near that long for us...ever... I still feel neglected and i guess lonely when he "doesn't feel like it". I wish I could give you some good advice but i don't even know what to do in my own marriage. Just know your not alone, and I hope it gets better for you.

Has anyone actually left a sexless marriage?

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