Believe me I try all the time. I use to think when he got older that it would get better. He is 14 and very lazy. All he wants to do is play video games. If you dont tell him step by step to take a shower, brush teeth, eat, change his underpants he wont do it. I feel like I am on him all the time. Please any suggestions, ideas, or advice would be helpful.
Anonymous
Favorite Answer
Don't you have any authority? He is a kid and you are the parent even though not by blood. He needs to be punished. If he doesn't do what he is supposed to, get good grades, stop being lazy, he needs to be grounded with no tv or video games. If your husband is loyal to you he should be backing you up like a team member and helping you enforce the grounding. Set more boundaries, tell him what you expect and what his punishment will be if he doesn't obey, and most importantly remind him that you and your husband are in charge and demand respect.
It sounds like your husband should have let him experience the paddle a long time ago.
LunaRossa
Blended familes can be wonderful, but most ahve this problem. The adults are too caught up in their feelings to have put the child or children first, making sure that they are ready, or comfortable for the change. You shouldn't have married your husband until you were certain that you could love his son as if eh were your own child. During your wedding were youy thinking, "I'm becoming a wife!" or "I'm becoming a wife and mother!"? You need to establish a good relationship with your stepson, and your authority, for you are the adult in this relationship.
Now I wait for the thumbs down.
operationspiritlift
First off, he is a teenager. Teenagers are lazy. All they want to do is play video games. (I personally don't have video games in my home. There are other things to do with your time.) Anyway, if it takes YOU "holding his hand" to do all these things, then it is time to start laying down the law. If he needs you to hold his hand to do everything, then hold his hand. Take him in and brush his teeth and treat him like a baby. He will absolutely hate it. Tell him if he wants to be a baby, you will treat him like a baby. I think you need to limit the time on the video games. It would be a shame that it would come up missing or maybe quit working. wink.You need to be tough. There are sooooo many ways that you can make him comply with what you want. Be creative. This would be way to much fun for me.
kim b
If you Love your husband you must try. I have a lazy son he's a teen. I think the key words are teen and boy. It's a phase hopefully he will grow out of it. But for now try to bond with the boy play a video game with him. Than try to introduce him to some different activity maybe outside the home.
Little Ollie
Teenage boys are difficult - been there. The thing that gets mothers through is that we love them even if we don't like them. If it's not your child that makes it very hard. Talk to your husband and have him in charge of the things that your stepson won't do for you and take an arms length approach. I finally did that with my stepchildren and while they weren't any better for my husband I wasn't involved and angry. Good Luck.