I've been incestually molested and abused all my life.I supressed it most of my life allowing me to function.
I have many disorders, including multiple personalities. I'm 50 now. Therapy taught me to know how abuse feels. To avoid any more pain, I kicked every abuser out of my life. Now I am a hermit. An extensive study was done to explain this wide spread event. They put 100 women in a room this included only 3 abuse victims.Then they added 1 abusive person.These perpetrators knew exactly who the 3 women were, never even one mistake. This is what allows them to choose who the easy prey are. This is why I am a hermit, I can't take any more pain. I think I would explode! I'm 50 now. I've been depressed and suicidal all my life. I've been trying to deal all my life. l have so many disorders, it's hard to survive, let alone live. My way of coping has become disorders. I don't know if I'm capable of sustaining any relationship. If I don't want to be with me, how can I ask anyone else to? How do I start to embrace life instead of just surviving? I've racked my brain, and still have no answer. Help!
Anonymous2008-06-10T10:19:35Z
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first you need to forgive yourself and allow yourself to heal. i dont know the answer to this but i know that god does. all you gotta do is talk to him. good luck to you.
As much as I hate to say this most people will abuse if you let them. The trick is to not let them while maintaining your own sense of self. Without all the double speak stand up for yourself and acknowledge that people are sometimes going to hurt you (whether knowingly or not). Excluding everyone who hurts you allows healing but isolates you to the point of turning you into a hermit. Open the door a little and you can gently walk towards something or someone positive in your life. Don't isolate yourself by staying in that just gives the person or person's who abused you all the power. Work with victims of abuse, talk to groups or organizations, share your experiences as much as possible and try to let the pain go. Once in a while I still feel the way you describe but I work with children and try to be an advocate for their safety so this helps me heal. The process is long and hard especially solo so please find someone to talk to that you can trust. I hope this helps you.
I feel bad for you, what tragic difficulties to overcome. It sounds as if you've had counseling. Perhaps with not the type of counselor (personality) or system of therapy that was the most appropriate to you, your personality, etc. That's a lot to overcome, and a lot of life-long habits and thinking to "get beyond." To make any progress will take hard work. Without going into a lot of detail, I suggest you get this book, read it, take your time, and do the written exercises: http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-Handbook-David-Burns/dp/0452281326/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1213118431&sr=8-1 This type of therapy has been tremendously helpful both short and long term with a lot of people, even the severely (clinically) depressed You you can do yourself, by yourself, and it is not painful or threatening. But you must be consistent, not just hit or miss. P.S. Be sure, at the website, to scroll down and read the reviews.
I want to begin by saying that i am very sorry for what has happened to you in the past, and that I hope that the advice that I plan to give you helps a lot. Well from what I can see you have major trust issues, and that is a part of what could be holding you back. I think that you should find ways of letting go of all of the repressed emotions that you still have bottled up inside. I also reccomend that you trust in your religion so that i can build you up and make you stronger. You could also go to other victims of abuse that have overcame their "fears" and have taken control of their lives again. So I leave you with this piece of advice, "Don't let your happenings ruin your happiness." I hope that I even helped your situation even a little.
Thats a tough one,all those feelings youve locked inside for so many years.Guilt,shame,pleasure,and what the real meaning of it is,etc etc,I could go on forever. Heres the things you should be proud of. First,you have broken the cycle. Second you have realized the thoughts that enter your head are wrong and abnormal. I re-read you bio.and saw you have had children,so at one time you were able to maintain a normal way of life. The bad thing is you have suppressed these feelings for so long,they have become disorders,and have caused you to push evrything and everyone away(to a point). You need to address the issues you have,forgive yourself,and if needed,seek more help to understand why your trust issues are comprimised.Not every one is the boogeyman,but there are a lot of them out there....good luck.