About 3 months ago I told the woman I love more than anything in exactly how I felt about her. A week after that she told my best friend and roomate how she felt about him. They are now dating.
I'm not angry at either of them. I can understand why she made the decision she made, and I can't blame him for liking her either. They met before I met her, but they were both dating someone else. Then she broke up with her boy friend, and a short time later he broke up with his girlfriend. Then he had sex with this other girl, so I thought I had a window and that nothing was going to happen between them.
The question is how do I move on. I have no choice but to see them together all the time, and it tears me a part but I can't do anything. How can I ever truly honestly love another woman when I will always have to see the woman I truly want in the arms of my best friend?
Anonymous2008-07-17T20:16:34Z
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The first thing you have to do is not allow yourself to see them together all the time. You can't let people walk all over you. They both do not deserve to be in your life. Don't hang around them anymore. After that, time will heal the rest.
You said something very crucial "I'm not angry at either of them. I can understand why she made the decision she made, and I can't blame him for liking her either." Hopefully, she didn't lead you to believe she felt the same way about you as you felt about her. If she didn't, she did the honorable thing and left the situation before you were further hurt. Even though you thought you loved her, you seem to see that they look as if they were destined to be together. Few people are that selfless to see that. You are a rare one. Even so, I am sure it is an uncomfortable situation for you. But the same way they seem destined for each other, there is someone just for you that will make you happy that it didn't work with you and her. Try not to dwell on SHE is the one you really want because what we sometimes can't have seems that much more desirable because we can't. Women will come and go but best friends are not so easy to find.
This is going to be difficult for you. Somehow you are going to need to put some space between you and your best friend and this woman. I would suggest getting a new roommate if possible.
Then, I guess just keep going out with other people to try and take it off your mind. This is not going to be easy and I feel for your situation. Life can be so hard sometimes and seems so unfair. I do believe that when one door closes another opens, so maybe the true love of your life is still out there somewhere! You just have to allow yourself to find her!
Best of luck...I've had my heart broken, too - not so long ago. It hurts so much, but life truly does go on...whether we want it to or not. So -just be gentle with yourself and move on the best you can! Good thoughts from all of us here!
Realize it could have been much much worse. Yall could have gone together for a few years and then she broke up with you! You never got to know her, know how she is. I've never been a fan of thinking you can fall in love at first sight. You can say "Oooo he/she is cute!" But you do not know if you can live with their personality or not until after a few months. So maybe you where in love with the thought of how it could have possibly been, if you had liked her all the way around, not her. So find you another girl, and see what happens. Good luck!
You see these are the things i never quite understand....why would anyone want to be with someone who didnt want to be with them? If it were me Id just figure her loss,and somewhere out there the real thing is waiting for me:) last thing id want is to be with someone who really didnt want to be with me....you deserve better...