Is it normal to feel guilty after leaving an abusive husband?
I am in the process of going through my divorce. I moved out of my home almost 6 months now. My soon-to-to-be-ex-husband and I was arrested nearly 5 years ago for domestic violence, our daughter was barely a year old back then. We went through marriage counseling and I can say, it helped a little bit but there are still times he hits me every now and then. The last one though was pretty bad. Personally, and call me stupid if you want but I can put up with him hitting me. The one thing that I can not stand is his sexual desires and fantasies that made me feel degraded. There were many times when he asked me for anal sex and I usually would turn him down. It is uncomfortable and I can’t stand the pain. There are a couple of times he forced me into it and he usually would force me into sex almost every time I say no, more like raping me actually. And one thing he is asking me to do is to have sex with another man while he’s watching. For the life of me and for everything I believe in, I can’t do this. Now I worked with someone that usually flirts with me. I do not hide anything from him so he knew about this guy….he then later on told me to get on and have sex with him. I decided to play his game just to make him realize how it feels when I do meet with someone, I agreed to meet this guy that I work with, I went to his house. But unfortunately, the man was much too good to even take advantage of me. He admitted though that he is attracted to me but that was it, nothing happened. We just ended up talking about life and places and his desire to have a family of his own. When I got home later that day, boy, he was mad. He couldn’t handle the thought that I was with another man for at least a couple of hours. And that was enough reason for him to beat me up. I stayed and contemplated whether I leave him or not. But then I left after a couple of months. Now that I am out, why do I have these feelings of guilt that I left him? Is it normal to feel this way? I really don’t want to get back with him though…..please help!