Is it normal to feel guilty after leaving an abusive husband?

It's normal. In time, you will be proud that you did. It's just too soon after, and you still have emotional feelings, but these are yours, not what you two had, or he had. You were his peon sex slave. He did not really love you. He enjoyed owning you, being able to do to you what he wanted, and took no real pleasure in you, except to make you suffer. I am sure yall had some good times, but it's time to move on.

Maybe you will luck out and meet another nice fellow later on. Right now, you need to be alone, and get on with your life that does not involve being a punching bag.

Whatever you do, do not go back. He will eventually hurt you enough that you will not recover, or he will kill you. There is no dishonor leaving something like that, instead your courageous for getting away.

Sweetheart sorry you had to go through all that and yes it is normal to feel guilty about leaving, but honestly you have no reason on this earth to feel guilty, you did everything you could to change things but he obviously wasn't listening. I think the feelings of guilt come from the thought that you have failed in some way, you didn't he did. There is no reason on this earth why anyone should stay in an abusive marriage. We are not put on this earth to be used like that, especially by someone who says they love you. This is not love and anyway you had your daughter to protect, you were probably afraid he would turn his violent ways towards her. You did the right thing and good for you, please don't let the guilt and memories spoil the life your are now building for yourself. Good luck love and be happy, it is what we all deserve in this life. Oh and sweetheart this feeling will go away, but sometimes it takes a little while.

The reason you probably feel guilty is because you are still married even though legally separated and you have a boyfriend. Perhaps how you should have approached your problem in your marriage with an alcoholic husband was to stop enabling him when you first realized he was an alcoholic. Sometimes the very push that an alcoholic needs to hit their bottom is when the wife takes action against him with regard to the marriage. There are many good men out there who are recovering alcoholics and they still have their wife of 28 years by their side. Your statement that someimes you wonder if you should have stayed and continued to take care of him told me a lot. You don't try to take care of an alcoholic, you don't enable them and you take the steps necessary to get educated about how to really handle the situation. Hence, the suggestion would have been for you to attend some Al Anon meetings where you could have employed some tactics that would possibly have led him to seeking help much before this. Don't get me wrong here. You don't have to stay in a situation where the alcoholic doesn't do anything to change, but in a marriage as long as your marriage I would have tried some professional strategy to see if it couldn't have been a salvageable situation.

It's not guilt hon, it's the way he had you programed, you were programed by him to feel a certain way. When I left my abusive husband, normal was hard to get used too, I found it boring, because we are always at a level of flight or fight. It will get better, if you go back you will pay for leaving in the first place, he'll make you pay! Get counsiling for yourself, you are worth much more!!! I am a new person, no hasn't been easy, but I can see clearly now.

What a tough situation. I'm so sorry for your pain. The guilt you feel is normal. This man has led you into a very dark place where you feel degraded mentally, emotionally and physically. Your sense of self is involved and he took advantage of that. You took the positive first step... leaving an impossible situation. You will be happier and so will your child. But it's going to take time. Allow yourself that, and seek counseling to help you heal.

You probably feel guilty, because you feel that you may have contributed to the issues and horrors in this relationship. But you didn't deserve that abuse, and now you can live free from it. Your daughter no longer has to watch or endure this behavior. The only issue is...what if he turns on your daughter? He has sexual perversions.

What if he molests or abuses her? You need to consider these things and look into getting full custody. Maybe the courts can force him into counseling. He needs to seriously reevaluate himself and get some help!

You need to do this, as well. Mostly for your self esteem. You've been lost and held beneath this man for far too long. Now you need to discover who you want to be, so that you can prevent getting yourself involved with another man like this.

Yes it is normal to feel like this and my niece was in a relation ship like you but she left but found it very hard and like you felt it was all her fault you did a great thing leaving him, but now she finds it hard and very boaring when she met the last guy as she said he was so nice that he drove her mad, so now i think she will only go back to someone who is abusive her as that is all she has known i do hope you can meet someone who deserves you and will be kind do take care and do move on xx

Yes it is normal... because you are a caring human being who can see the good side, intentions, whatever in anyone, even though his actions have spoken louder than his words.

His control and domination over you is more complete than you see yet... you still somewhat agree that you fed into this, let him do it or made him angry, whatever.

You are a mother. You know that with a child you have to set boundaries, and examples, and be patient and loving and wait for gradual improvement. That is good. But HE IS NOT YOUR CHILD. He does not get the benefit of your love and patience in return for his temper tantrums and bad behaviour.

And since you do have a child, realise this: your child can have ALL of you that you have to give, or your child can compete with her own father for your attention and support. You cannot be the best mother while still being a scared rabbit of a wife. Be sad that it worked out this way, be sorry for him... but do NOT let him back. And realise that such men are more dangerous than ever when they actually get the message that you mean it. Expect your child to be grabbed as a pawn, he can still show power over you by demanding custody or visits and refusing to support her. Get the papers filed NOW to protect her rights.

Don't feel guilty; that is a semi normal reaction, I felt guilty when I left my ex who was a total loser however you will get over the guilt soon enough and then relief will set in. You did the right thing. The other man maybe was just the fuel for the fire.

what I would be feeling guilt about is that I did not kill him for all the abuse that he did, honey stay gone, he is not worth any of your emotions,you were not the cause of any of his issues, and he did not love you to continue to rape, beat on you, and all those sex things with other men is not normal to me, and you need to think of your daughter, will he do something like this to her, please do not go back, move on with your life divorce him and you are not stupid, but you never love so hard that you do things for love that makes you unhappy, if you don't want to do it for yourself, Don't do it.and if her ever puts his hands on you again have him arrested and charge him,love does not hurt. good luck to you and be the woman a man would be proud to love and honor and treat like a queen , you have it in you and you can make it, don't give in now.