Has anybody ever asked you to hold their teeth?
True Story #52, from the files of WTF?
11PM, a T-shaped bar in St. Paul, MN- 1992
They called him Nail-gun and nobody knew why and nobody ever asked. He had a crooked flat-top haircut and wore a white collared shirt and blue jeans. He was a drunk's drunk and we used to go just to listen to him talk.
Two tables to the south, a herd of Viking's fans and cheap beer.
The leader of the herd referred to Nail-gun as buzzhead, twice.
Now, Nail-gun, he was in his late '60's and he only moved when he felt like it.
Fan- Tell us a story, buzzhead!
Nail-gun- *sips his liquor*
Fan- Aww, let me rub your buzzhead, old timer.
Nail-gun- (to me) Will you hold my teeth?
Me- *doesn't say no*
We waited outside the cop shop for two hours, just so we could give him his teeth back. I don't know who bailed him out, but he walked out slowly, his wet red and white collar as crooked as his hair, and he asked me if I had washed them. I shook my head. He took his teeth, hopped a curb, and headed on home.