How do you demand more respect?

I have specific goals and consequences for my girls but my babysitter doesn't think I'm firm enough. Does that mean I need to yell? I'm not sure what she means. Does anyone have any ideas?

JaneDoe2008-10-08T23:19:42Z

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You do not demand respect, you earn it.

Why would you be taking parenting advice from your babysitter in the first place?

britt_1620092008-10-08T23:22:03Z

No, I don't think you should yell even though if you get really mad sometimes and it just happens then that is a little different because everyone does. I'm not so sure what your consequences are so it makes it kind of difficult to answer. If you give into them then you need to stop that, you can't keep giving into kids because then they won't learn what is right and they will continue to misbehave. As long as you punish them for what they do wrong and stuff then I don't see why their is a problem unless your girls just doesn't respect anybody and does what they want to all the time. If not, then you need to tell your babysitter that they are your kids and you will raise them how you see fit, but you are open to suggestions and to talk about it.

Flusterated2008-10-08T23:27:40Z

First of all, you don't "demand respect" - you earn it. Specific goals and consequences are fine AS LONG AS you are consistent in carrying them out. If a child is told to do this or that will happen, then THAT MUST HAPPEN in order for the child to know you mean business. Allowing the child to call the shots by worming their way out of it undermines your authority, as does asking the child's permission when told to do something, such as "Stop hitting your sister, okay??" "I asked you to pick those toys up - be a good girl and do it now, okay??" - Drop the "okay???" from those sentences and the entire meaning changes - and the kids know this! YOU are the parent, YOU set the rules and YOU don't need to be their friend - they need guidance & boundaries and consequences for crossing those boundaries. Of course when they do as told, hugs & kisses and thank you's are fine, but don't let them off the hook - and always mean what you say.

weirdfish132008-10-08T23:21:28Z

Are your girls generally well-behaved? Do you follow through with your consequences consistently and praise your kids when they are doing well? If so, ignore your babysitter. When it comes to parenting, everyone has an opinion.

Don't yell. It doesn't earn you respect, it just proves you've lost control of the situation. What does earn respect is consistency. If you say something is going to happen, it happens. If you say a behavior is unacceptable, you don't tolerate it just to get by.

Anonymous2008-10-09T03:23:59Z

It is a bit difficult to answer your question since you don't give details. But it is certainly good to set goals for your girls and to reward them for reaching those goals. Respect is a different issue. As the parent, you can demand that your daughters treat you respectfully (don't yell at you, don't use rude language, don't show "attitude" etc.). When they act in a disrespectful way, yelling is not a good way to react because you may end up with a shouting match. When one of my daughters chooses to act disrespectfully toward me or her father she knows that she will be sent to her room - not just for a childish "time out" but to wait for a well-deserved spanking. This has worked pretty well in my home. My girls have learned to be polite and respectful.

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