I need gay parent advice regarding my child's school.?

I had an issue today in which the school called needing my daughter picked up. When they called they asked for my partner, she is the biological parent. I explained she wasn't in and told them my name, the woman said "well I don't know who you are" I said I am J's parent. The woman finally told me what was going on, and my partner went and picked up our daughter. My question is, do you have any advice or experience with getting your child's school to respect the non-biological parent. I just don't want to worry that they wont call me or tell me if something is wrong with my child. I thought we had made it pretty clear that J's parents were a same sex couple when we filled out all her new student paperwork. I don't want to make this into a big deal, or start a war with the school. I live in a state where the non-biological parent has no legal rights or protections, so I need to get on the schools good side so they will work with me. I also don't want my child to ever be told by a teacher or administrator that I am not J's parent. Any advice?

Thank You

L

2008-10-24T22:08:24Z

All of my information is on all of our daughters forms, including contact and emergency forms, and we even included the explaination that J's parents are a same sex couple. The only way I can legally have any guardianship of J in this state is if my partner gives up her parental rights. We do have legal documents for medical power of attorney, financil power of attorney, and guardianship rights if my partner were to die.

Spooky - Gender Anarchist2008-10-24T21:42:29Z

Favorite Answer

Both you and your partner need to go to the school's office and make sure that they put your name down as the secondary parent, alternate and emergency contact.

I'm speaking of this as a non-custodial mother of two boys. I had to go to the school to make sure that my name was put down for notices and as an emergency contact for my sons. I didn't like the idea that my ex-husband's new wife was given preferential treatment over their biological parent.

You, as the partner of her mother, and with the mother backing the decision, can be another emergency contact on the school's list. I'd also make it clear to them that the woman you spoke to was rude. I wouldn't stand for that.

Good luck.

Anonymous2008-10-24T21:42:59Z

I would think that after a while the people you usually speak to (secretaries, teachers, nurse, etc) would learn who you are and they would understand your situation. Maybe if you introduce yourself as a family member and aren't specific they won't be confused. Did it seem like this woman had a problem with you or was just unclear because you weren't the mother they had on their list? If your name is on the contact sheet there really shouldn't be a problem. If you were the grandparent the child lived with you would be included and this should probably be the same way. You may need to meet with the people your child deals with most often just to introduce the family so there aren't further problems. Its too bad you can't have rights in your state, that must bring up a lot of concerns.

LuckyLass2008-10-24T21:42:01Z

On the child's emergency form, both parents (partners) should be listed. There is no way around that. Ask the school to review the child's emergency form, for contact information. Each partner should be listed as parents with all contact information, and signed off on the form to stand in should the child have problems at school.

Colleen

don_horaldo2008-10-24T21:44:13Z

I don't know the laws where you are but I had a in schools around here if a name is listed as a on any contact form of the like then they can be picked up.

?2008-10-24T21:42:39Z

Get an attorney and make yourself a legal guardian of your child. My sis wasn't always able to care for her children due to a brain disorder. So my she had my mother declared a legal guardian. When my sis was able, she acted as parent, but if the school or whoever needed something and she wasn't able, my mom had the papers on file with them already and they knew she was legally valid to take care of it. She could take my sis' kids to the Dr. or anything a parent was able to do. It was not expensive to set up and obviously would be worth it to have stability for your kid.

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