I need gay parent advice regarding my child's school.?

Both you and your partner need to go to the school's office and make sure that they put your name down as the secondary parent, alternate and emergency contact.

I'm speaking of this as a non-custodial mother of two boys. I had to go to the school to make sure that my name was put down for notices and as an emergency contact for my sons. I didn't like the idea that my ex-husband's new wife was given preferential treatment over their biological parent.

You, as the partner of her mother, and with the mother backing the decision, can be another emergency contact on the school's list. I'd also make it clear to them that the woman you spoke to was rude. I wouldn't stand for that.

Good luck.

I would think that after a while the people you usually speak to (secretaries, teachers, nurse, etc) would learn who you are and they would understand your situation. Maybe if you introduce yourself as a family member and aren't specific they won't be confused. Did it seem like this woman had a problem with you or was just unclear because you weren't the mother they had on their list? If your name is on the contact sheet there really shouldn't be a problem. If you were the grandparent the child lived with you would be included and this should probably be the same way. You may need to meet with the people your child deals with most often just to introduce the family so there aren't further problems. Its too bad you can't have rights in your state, that must bring up a lot of concerns.

On the child's emergency form, both parents (partners) should be listed. There is no way around that. Ask the school to review the child's emergency form, for contact information. Each partner should be listed as parents with all contact information, and signed off on the form to stand in should the child have problems at school.

Colleen

I don't know the laws where you are but I had a in schools around here if a name is listed as a on any contact form of the like then they can be picked up.

Get an attorney and make yourself a legal guardian of your child. My sis wasn't always able to care for her children due to a brain disorder. So my she had my mother declared a legal guardian. When my sis was able, she acted as parent, but if the school or whoever needed something and she wasn't able, my mom had the papers on file with them already and they knew she was legally valid to take care of it. She could take my sis' kids to the Dr. or anything a parent was able to do. It was not expensive to set up and obviously would be worth it to have stability for your kid.

I am not a gay parent, I am the dad to 3 kids my wife is the gay parent and had similar issues. we all get along and i respect her life choice first of all so im not bitter. my ex had to give the school a letter and speak with the principal to give permission for her partner to family related issues in the school. but different schools may have policy's! you should probably sit down with your partner and the principal and discuss the issue and see what the school needs to make this happen.

Are you not able to adopt your daughter? Wow that sounds weird... but is that a possibility?

If not, I'm certain you can find a lawyer to draft up a letter of legal guardianship for little J. That's pretty much as good as adoption papers.

You should speak to a lawyer about becoming her legal guardian. That way the school will speak to you about J and allow you to pick her up from school in an emergency.

Depending on the age of your child, you could volunteer in the classroom. If she's older maybe you could chaperone a field trip or dance... something that would help them relate you to her when they think "parent". It would be good if you and your partner could both be involved in the school, even if it can't be at the same time.

Your partner can make sure you're listed as someone authorized to pick up the child.

Do you have any legal rights of guardianship? If so, present those papers to the school. If not, get a lawyer and get them.

Remember, the school isn't trying to make a moral statement in how they treat you. They are trying to follow the law.