How do I fix what I might have broken? Adults only!!?
This past weekend during an after-halloween custom party, I got seriously wasted off of numerous jager shots. All this after seeing my crush with another guy show up at the party. I freaked out and converted into the demon I've kept chained in the innermost darkest corners of mind. What followed was a rampage of insults at my crush and her family (including her mother whom I work with) and got into so many near fights, I thought I was dead!! Alcohol can be a devastating truth serum! More like venom!! 5 days have passed since the incident and I'm still feeling shameful, dissapointed, and disgusted with myself. I have already apologized to everyone involved (except my crush's guy) but her mother will not get over it and she's shown it at work. We don't speak unless its proffesional but otherwise she won't get near me or speak to me. I deserve it, I'm a monster I know. As for my crush, well, I'll just have to deal with the fact that she's got her a new man and let it go. I just want to know if theres a possibility that we could some day get back as friends with her and her mother.
Also I'm not drinking another ounce of alcohol for a very, very long time...I let my jealousy, my obsession, and my emotions and a mixture of alcohol ruin my friendship. What can I do as time passes? We also have a concert date together next friday, don't know if they'll feel comfortable with me coming along. Don't know if I'm even going. How do I fix what i have broken? I've apologized a thousand times..I'm not a bad person.