I don't want my other daughters to feel left out so i down play my pregnancies and try to avoid talking about them. Same with looks and similarities too. Do you do the same?
Adoptees can add in how it would make you feel if your Amom talked about that stuff infront of you too:)
morris the cat
Favorite Answer
Great question.
Here's a twist. As an adoptee who gave birth to three children, I have felt hesitant to talk about my pregnancies too much in front of my a-mother. This was true particularly at my baby showers when people swapped stories. I was worried about how she might feel never having been through it herself.
Jennifer L
Actually, yes.
Before we adopted, our son was the "spoiled only child". There were more pictures of him in the house than of anyone else. Before we brought our younger children home, I went through the house and replaced most of those. I explained what I was doing to my son and my rationale for doing so. He agreed completely, so we took the few pictures we had of our children pre-adoption and put those into the frames instead, so we had pictures up on our "family wall" right away. Now I actually have the numbers of pictures of each of them counted out, so everyone has the same number.
Pregnancy was the same thing. I just don't talk about it as much. Just like the baby pictures and (to reference another question) the "tummy pictures". I don't avoid talking about it. My younger asked me a question about when his big brother was a baby recently and I told him. But I don't want to give any impression that I don't love them because I didn't carry them, or that I love my oldest son more, because I did carry him.
Heather ~ Not a Perfect Mom ~
I too rarely talk about my pregnancies. I have also taken the baby pictures off the wall since I do not have any pics of D until he was 5 years old.
The looks thing isn't a big factor in our home because D looks so much like my middle son. They are both dark complected with dark hair. People actually comment that you can tell they are brothers. (they are actually second cousins) While my oldest looks just like me. Blonde hair and blue eyes.
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Since I have nothing nice to say about my pregnancy, i don't talk about it in front of my kids. I share my story when i think I need to get it off my chest or if someone is going through the same thing. If they want to know more, I have no problem sharing it. they both know they lived in their mommy's bellies. Bub wil have his m om to share his pregnancy store if he likes, but it's not pretty either.
I just had a realization. BOTH of my kids were exposed to drugs. When I was pregnant with her, I was on a T-pump and given Nubian (a strong narcotic), magnesium sulfate among many other things, all to keep her in. She had anxiety as a baby and i believe it was because of all the drugs. It's something they both deal with.