My hair is a mess. What can I do?

I have hair that is very curly. It's just above my shoulders when curly and about to the middle of my should blades when straight, so that should give you a good idea of how curly it it. It's very tight curls.

I try to do everything right but it's still in horrible condition. I color my hair with a semi-permanent color because I was told it's not as damaging as a permanent color. I do this every three or four months to cover the moderate amount of grey. I color it my natural color which is very dark brown-almost black. I use a quality shampoo and conditioner- Biolage hydrating shampoo and conditioning balm. I use quality sytling products - chi silk infusion, biolage hydrating curl creme, paul mitchell super skinny, and friz ease. I also use infusium leave in treatment, garnier smooth and sleek leave in conditioner. Not all at the same time of course. I use a wide toothed comb on it when it's wet. I don't blow dry. I do use a flat iron maybe three times a week - Andis is the name brand of the flat iron. My hair still has terrible split ends, it's very dry, frizzy, puffy and fuzzy.

My hair has always been curly but it's gotten really really curly since having my children. I don't like it anymore and don't know what to do with it. I'm frustrated with the condition of it and when it's curly I feel like i look like a poodle, it's that curly! Is there anythng I can do to help? Would usuing a relaxer work? I'm caucasian, but my hair is as curly as if i wer african american. Should I try a relaxer? I don't want to damage my hair anymore than it already is. I really need some help!

lilian999242008-12-15T07:39:18Z

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Although, a good " expensive" hair cut could help your hair, I think in your case it won't do anything, other than make it more difficult for you to style as short hair tends to curl even more.
My hair is curly and frizzy by nature and I used to blow dry it straight to be able to style it, that just caused a lot of damage to my hair.
This is what I do now and it has worked great.......
I deep condition my hair at least once a week, you can buy a deep conditioner ( I usually go to Sally's ). they usually say that you should leave them on for 5 min, i leave it on for at least 15, put a plastic cap and use my hair dryer on hot to apply heat ( this wont damage your hair as you just want to heat the cap which is basically also protecting your hair ) after I rinse it off I detangle my hair and use a mixture of hair serum with hair cream ( anti frizz) ( equal amounts ) all over my hair.
For styling it, I use curlers, the bigger the curler, the straighter the hair will get, it is kind of an inconvienence but this has worked wonders for my hair, rollers don't damage the hair and I have found is the only way to style and "tame " my hair, I usually do the rollers when my hair still a little wet ( not too much ) and leave them on for at least 3 hours, you'll find out how long it will take for you, every person is different. After removing the curlers I just style my hair with my fingers ( brushing your hair will just make the frizzines worse )
Try to wash your hair every other day only, so your styling will last longer, hair like ours tends to be dry so no need to wash it every day.
As for hair color, use the permanent, just don't do it as often, just color the roots every time you need it and do an all over color every other month.
I hope this helps, I do simpatize with you as I have struggled with my hair for a long time but like I said this seems to work really well for me.
( I love the Venitian blends conditiones from Sally's ).

jeanne2016-05-30T22:45:48Z

Well, it's hard to define "mess up," but I understand what you mean. Dyeing your hair, whether bleaching (whole head or highlights with foils or cap) or using different dyes, changes the "DNA" of your hair. The dye compounds saturate into deeper layers of the hair shaft and alter the melanin within it. With this in mind, it's important to protect and moisturize before and after coloring. When coloring at home, prep your hair by using a deep conditioner the day before. The day of, do not shampoo, and work with dry hair. Use a formula that is noted for its conditioning qualities (many advertise that they utilize oils). You may even want to use a semi-permanent color to start for less commitment. If using permanent color, which is noted on the box, don't try anything too drastic. If you are unhappy with the results, it will be harder to fix. Keep this in mind: tint does not lift tint, meaning that the only way to "lift" dark color out is usually to use a potentially damaging product. Also, for maintenance, you should use a color conditioner and/or a "depositing shampoo" which can protect and brighten your color between touch-ups. This is especially important for red tones. You could always alleviate any questions by seeing a professional colorist, where they can not only answer your questions but take the necessary steps to avoid your concern. Just a thought. :-)

Stephie Bee2008-12-15T07:12:06Z

Trying to fight your natural hair is a losing battle! And putting so many different chemicals in your hair is most likely what's damaging it.

My first recommendation would be to go ahead and use a permanent hair color. Reapplying chemicals over and over to strands will damage it more than 1 color, then touching up the roots.

Secondly, research salons in your area that have high ratings, and even if it's pricey, find a stylist that knows how to work with curls, to give you a good haircut, and a good deep conditioning. It's AMAZING what a good haircut can do when you're fed up with your hair!

kristen2008-12-15T07:18:25Z

try a chi straightening system...available at most spas and high end salons...they're usually like 150.00 or if you want cheaper...I like Aussie deep conditioner and Suave Sleek, then blow dry straight with a round brush and style as normal.

☮LaHippie2008-12-15T07:07:36Z

All I could suggest is to not iron or color it as much
Maybe if you let it grow the damage will lessen...

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