feeling socially inept and hating the holidays, am i boring or annoying (LONG BUT PLZ HEAR ME OUT)?

Question

i finally find a message board where people can understand me and everyone is ignoring me. now most of my posts are replies so thats understandable if noone replies back but i asked a question in a new thread (youd think somebody would have had an answer) and i made an intro post. neither one got any replies and that was about 9 days ago everyone elses intro got a reply within 2 days. i was thinking i must have rambled too much for the intro but there was one long intro post that at least got a response from an admin. i even tried shortening it up after a day..nothing. it got about 25 views so its not like people didnt see it. apparently noone wants to get to know me including the admins and when not even the admins want to theres obviously something wrong with you.
the board is filled with people all the time and an admin is usually on every day.

what do I do? I was thinking of deleting my post and then reposting it so people could see that i shortened it but then i thought thats stupid. Its not like i can ask why people are ignoring me, that would be embarrassing and if you have to ask that so people will pay attention to you whats the point?
I was also thinking about leaving but idk how and plus i have nowhere else to go. i dont really go to chat rooms anymore because the last time i was on this one chat room my username got banned. this guy in the room was annoyed cuz i talked too much about a guy i liked so he told me to stop so i stopped (he only had to yell stop once for me to stop) so i changed the subject and asked about his interests but thats when i got banned so since then i havent wanted to go back to any

ive felt i needed that message board because i dont see any of my friends anymore. after you get out of school you tend to lose touch with people (i only see my old neighbor. we hang out alot but we dont really talk about important stuff that much and plus shes younger than me so yeah...) i have some friends from school on my buddy list but theyre never on anymore except for Vanessa. im not that close to Vanessa and alot of times shes too busy to talk. plus she seems too serious so ive stopped IMing her. once in a while Rachel is on but the last time I IMed her she didnt reply. i think shes snobby and only responds to certain things cuz one time IMed her and i asked for help on my college work and she responded but any other time she doesnt. I lost my only guy friend about 8 mos ago after getting too close (the only person who I felt could truly understand me) I started having feelings and before I knew it he was gone. after hanging out he wouldnt contact me for a while. i asked him why and he said that hes a compulsive liar and i should find someone else. this sucks because i dont know of anyone else and i dont want to find anyone else anyway. a while ago he had left a blog for everyone saying about how he pushes those he cares about away so that explains it but that doesnt mean we can get back together does it?

plus i dont have much of a family. i only have my mom (we see my aunt and my cousin but i dont feel close to them so im mostly quiet around them) i lost my grandma 5 years ago and she was the one i was really close to. i havent even talked to my father in two years because he doesnt listen to me anyway. last time I talked to him I IMed him saying how i was feeling and he obviously wasnt listening because a few min later he IMed me saying he was worried about me and wondering how I was doing. I ended up crying so Ive had enough of him.
Im not in the Christmas spirit because all this is bothering me and Christmas means nothing to me since its not the same without my grandma and its only me and my mom. I know I should be thankful I have my mom but I guess not getting along with my father is also bothering me. sometimes one just needs their father and mine just doesnt care about me.

I already had a low self esteem to begin with so getting ignored on a message board just makes it worse. Im beginning to think Im just doomed to only hanging out with my old neighbor and not talking to anyone else cuz noone seems to understand me anyway.

I really feel like Welcome to My Life by Simple Plan (every single word is true to me) and Perfect (cuz of my father)

expie · Accepted Answer

I find making friends quite difficult too, bt it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I have a couple of good friends in real life, but most of my friends are through chat, which really sucks because I'm in Australia and most of them are in the USA or the UK. This means we don't see each other much, so we don't share much unless there's something really wrong, because of the time difference and distance. I've tried social and dating sites to meet new people locally, but haven't had a response in 6 months, so that's a waste of time, or maybe I was just too honest... Do you have a job? Most of my RL friends I met through working with them.
I'd work on your self confidence by thinking about what you like about yourself, what you have accomplished, what you plan to do in future. Do something that gives you a real feeling of accomplishment, by over coming some obstacle or fear in your life. Express yourself, if people don't like it that's their problem, and if the only way they can express themselves is to criticise you, well that's sad for them and at least you will be getting noticed. Find a group that enjoys some activity that you might enjoy and join in, not to find friends but just to have a good time. Good luck. :)

? · Answer

Never quit learning, and never forget that even if you don't realise it, loads of other people feel the same way. A lot of people use social drugs, or boasting, or joking or whatever to make themselves feel more comfortable when they're around other people. If you can get a referral from your gp try cognitive behaviour therapy, its very practical and aims to help you design a solution to your problem. It gives you some control over the process so you feel its achievable. Keep coming on sites like this, its much easier to talk to people you can't see! Plus you get a chance to think about what you want to say. Your Q was articulate and you don't come across as someones who's out to blame others for your problem or moan about it, I reckon that if you get the right support you're going to fix it. You're looking for solutions not focusing on the problem! Try getting a Yahoo 360 blog, pick an interest and search for other people and groups that share the interest. Keep up with it, anxiety and social phobias are really common now, loads of people go through it and understand what its like. And you don't need to smile all the time either! Good luck.

feeling socially inept and hating the holidays, am i boring or annoying (LONG BUT PLZ HEAR ME OUT)?

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