My sons 15 year old girlfriend is pregnant her family wants her to terminate I don't what do I do?
My 16 year old son and his girlfriend are pregnant 7 weeks. I just found out yesterday when her mom called me. The girls mother told me she wants her daughter to get an abortion as early as Saturday. I asked her what B. (the girlfriend) wanted. She said B. also wanted one and she gave her the phone so I can talk to her. B. sounded real confused she said her mom and the clinic were pressuring her to hurry up and make a decision. I explained their are other options to explore like adoption she said she didn't think she could do it. I told her to think about it and no matter what she decides I will not hate her or leave her side and I am sure my son would be the same. I had a long talk with my son and he also wants her to have the baby. He thinks with our support he can raise his child himself. He also said he would consider adoption because that would be better for the baby. I want them both to finish school and reach their goals. A baby at such a young age can keep them from doing that. I was a teen single mom who did everything on my own. I know its hard but it can be done. Am I being selfish I just don't believe abortion should be used as a form of birth control. Please help me..
2009-01-06T07:22:52Z
Her parents also want me to help pay for the abortion which I understand but dont think I can morraly do any thought? As for they shouldnt have done it comments completely unhelpful at this point whats done is done.
~ Yay For Wild Things ~2009-01-06T07:37:45Z
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You've done the right thing in telling her all her options and giving her your support.
I'm not sure about the legalities of it, but I have the feeling that if your son wants to keep the baby, he has a say in whether or not the mother has an abortion. Although the ultimate decision belongs to his girlfriend.
Her parents can NOT force her to have an abortion. It is sooo important that she thinks long and hard about this. Her parents, yourself, and her boyfriend have all given her your opinions. Now she needs to make her own choice as to what to do. She needs to realise that having an abortion can sometimes be more painful (emotionally) then having a baby at such a young age. But in some cases it is the best choice. I think it would be a reallly good idea if she spoke to a counselor (it's usually a requirement before having an abortion anyway). That way she can feel free to say whatever she likes, and she can get unbiased opinions and thoughts.
Remember that after carrying a baby for 9 months, and then after giving birth to the baby, she will probably feel very differently. You could remind her of this.
It IS possible for both your son and his girlfriend to finish school and parent at the same time. There are online classes, distance ed, and home schooling they could consider. They WILL need financial support. If either you, or the girlfriends parents (or both) are willing and able to provide this, and if both your son and his girlfriend are determined then they CAN make it work.
It sounds as though your sons girlfriend has basically been told by her parents that she must have an abortion. She needs to know that she has every right to say no. I think you should talk to her in person just the two of you, and then with your son. If you could organise a counselor for her to speak with (they have great counselors from places like family planning, or your doctor could reccomend one), and get her there that would be fantastic. If you don't think her parents will agree to it-don't tell them. Their daughter has every right to see a counselor, and have her child if thats what SHE wants.
But seriously, speaking to a counselor will give her a place she can say what she is TRULY thinking, without being judged, and get unbiased opinions and information.
I really hope it all works out well! If you ever need to talk feel free to email me! Take care :)
I think it's a great idea for her to move in with you and your son. You're son must be a very good guy to make sure she has everything she needs. Her dad will come around to it. If they want to get married then let them. Marriage doesn't always cause trouble. It's just a piece of paper. If their in love let them be. What Lauren H said about abortion. Do not go that away. Having a baby is not throwing your life away, by no means is it that. Just because you are a teenager doesn't mean you do not have enough love for a baby.
Please talk to her. No matter what others say, this is your grandchild. Does this not account for anything? I just received the dreaded call from my son who is 22 and is single without a girlfriend. This was apparently a one night stand and he will not tell me her name stating that he does not want anything to do with her and will move away. I know that he is scared to death but hey, when you do something that has an outcome that is well known, you have to be willing to stand up for what you yourself have created. I am trying to think of what I can do. I don't know who this person is and am scared to death that she is someone unfit. If she was anyone that he was interested in he would not be reacting this way. I am really upset that he was so careless. I have always spoken openly with my four children about having sex. They know from watching friends have children young but why my son has decided to ignore the obvious and wear a condom and make sure that she was on birth control is beyond my thought process at this time. I am so upset. You know this girl and your son obviously loves her. This is something they need to think about. If they have been together for a long time they should know better but what is done is definitely done. You have a say in your own grandchild. I think she will change her mind and take you up on the offer to help her.
The child is a minor, her parents are her guardians. They have the say-so over her medical care. Do you really want a childs life ruined because you force her to have a baby? It may make you sleep better at night, but she may never sleep sgain!
Yes, adoption is a wonderful option, and no, I don't condone abortion. But I am pregnant now and I know that there is a bond that forms that can never be broken. The earlier this girl is allowed to have the procedure (if she really wants it) the better off she is.
Your son is 16, he doesn't know anything about a baby, he needs to finish school, then think about a family, not the other way around.
Don't make this girl into a moral example for your benefit - leave her in peace!
Continue to give the gf the strength to make her own decision. Don't make her feel pressured to go one way or the other. Tell her if she wants a full explanation of her decisions to contact Family Planning so she is well informed. It's not an easy decision for anyone, let alone a 15 year old. You can mention open adoption as they will be able to see the child, get updates, etc. from the adoptive parents. She needs to find the strength to tell her mom to back the F off so she can figure this out. She has time to make a decision but as long as you remind her that you are there, regardless of the decision, it will be just a bit less stressful for her. Kudos to you for not trying to push her one way or the other.