My sons 15 year old girlfriend is pregnant her family wants her to terminate I don't what do I do?

You've done the right thing in telling her all her options and giving her your support.

I'm not sure about the legalities of it, but I have the feeling that if your son wants to keep the baby, he has a say in whether or not the mother has an abortion. Although the ultimate decision belongs to his girlfriend.

Her parents can NOT force her to have an abortion.

It is sooo important that she thinks long and hard about this. Her parents, yourself, and her boyfriend have all given her your opinions. Now she needs to make her own choice as to what to do. She needs to realise that having an abortion can sometimes be more painful (emotionally) then having a baby at such a young age. But in some cases it is the best choice.

I think it would be a reallly good idea if she spoke to a counselor (it's usually a requirement before having an abortion anyway). That way she can feel free to say whatever she likes, and she can get unbiased opinions and thoughts.

Remember that after carrying a baby for 9 months, and then after giving birth to the baby, she will probably feel very differently. You could remind her of this.

It IS possible for both your son and his girlfriend to finish school and parent at the same time. There are online classes, distance ed, and home schooling they could consider.

They WILL need financial support. If either you, or the girlfriends parents (or both) are willing and able to provide this, and if both your son and his girlfriend are determined then they CAN make it work.

It sounds as though your sons girlfriend has basically been told by her parents that she must have an abortion. She needs to know that she has every right to say no.

I think you should talk to her in person just the two of you, and then with your son.

If you could organise a counselor for her to speak with (they have great counselors from places like family planning, or your doctor could reccomend one), and get her there that would be fantastic.

If you don't think her parents will agree to it-don't tell them. Their daughter has every right to see a counselor, and have her child if thats what SHE wants.

But seriously, speaking to a counselor will give her a place she can say what she is TRULY thinking, without being judged, and get unbiased opinions and information.

I really hope it all works out well! If you ever need to talk feel free to email me!

Take care :)

I think it's a great idea for her to move in with you and your son. You're son must be a very good guy to make sure she has everything she needs. Her dad will come around to it. If they want to get married then let them. Marriage doesn't always cause trouble. It's just a piece of paper. If their in love let them be. What Lauren H said about abortion. Do not go that away. Having a baby is not throwing your life away, by no means is it that. Just because you are a teenager doesn't mean you do not have enough love for a baby.

Please talk to her. No matter what others say, this is your grandchild. Does this not account for anything? I just received the dreaded call from my son who is 22 and is single without a girlfriend. This was apparently a one night stand and he will not tell me her name stating that he does not want anything to do with her and will move away. I know that he is scared to death but hey, when you do something that has an outcome that is well known, you have to be willing to stand up for what you yourself have created. I am trying to think of what I can do. I don't know who this person is and am scared to death that she is someone unfit. If she was anyone that he was interested in he would not be reacting this way. I am really upset that he was so careless. I have always spoken openly with my four children about having sex. They know from watching friends have children young but why my son has decided to ignore the obvious and wear a condom and make sure that she was on birth control is beyond my thought process at this time. I am so upset. You know this girl and your son obviously loves her. This is something they need to think about. If they have been together for a long time they should know better but what is done is definitely done. You have a say in your own grandchild. I think she will change her mind and take you up on the offer to help her.

The child is a minor, her parents are her guardians. They have the say-so over her medical care. Do you really want a childs life ruined because you force her to have a baby? It may make you sleep better at night, but she may never sleep sgain!

Yes, adoption is a wonderful option, and no, I don't condone abortion. But I am pregnant now and I know that there is a bond that forms that can never be broken. The earlier this girl is allowed to have the procedure (if she really wants it) the better off she is.

Your son is 16, he doesn't know anything about a baby, he needs to finish school, then think about a family, not the other way around.

Don't make this girl into a moral example for your benefit - leave her in peace!

Continue to give the gf the strength to make her own decision. Don't make her feel pressured to go one way or the other. Tell her if she wants a full explanation of her decisions to contact Family Planning so she is well informed. It's not an easy decision for anyone, let alone a 15 year old. You can mention open adoption as they will be able to see the child, get updates, etc. from the adoptive parents. She needs to find the strength to tell her mom to back the F off so she can figure this out. She has time to make a decision but as long as you remind her that you are there, regardless of the decision, it will be just a bit less stressful for her. Kudos to you for not trying to push her one way or the other.

its her body at the end of the day and if she doesnt want to have a child then she shouldnt have to

with adoption she could become attached to the baby or decide against it half way through and abortion obviously can only be done until a certain time

tell her mom to give her space for the next month at the most so she can make her own mind up and get her to talk through the options with her

her and your son really need to decide whether they want to carry on being a teenager whilst they can and whether they can really handle the responability of a child

Everyone is pressuring her but did her mom even think to ask her daughter what she wanted? What if she wants the baby? I honeslty think she needs to really think about this because even though she is only 7wks it is still a baby...it's still her child. Only she can descide wat she wants to do. I think if she haves the baby and doesn't want it that y'all should take it. Yes being a single parent a teens parent is hard but like you said it CAN be done. Hell being a single parent at any age is hard.

And you are not being selfish at all. And the baby wouldn't destroy their dreams or goals or hopes or wants. It would only simply be postponed and have to include the baby. Please talk to her and make her rethink or to actually think about it. An abrtion can have such a strong effect on someone so young.

I think that if the girl approaches you or your son asking for your advice or help, particularly if she really doesn't want to abort, then you may help. However, if you are trying to sway her from her family's influence, I do not think that is ethical.

Your son and his gf made a very poor choice. There are many opportunities to continue with poor choices. Another such poor choice would be to pressure her. She needs the support of her family, and believe it or not, it would be more traumatic to try to sway her from them to meet your own beliefs.

I had several long talks with my son when he became of age to be sexually active. One is that 99% of control over his contribution to pregnancy ends when he decides to give his sperm to his partner. The need for careful consideration is paramount from the first sexual contact. He may be learning a hard lesson here, if he believes abortion is wrong. He and future partner should know their plan in case of pregnancy. But that still doesn't mean she has to do as she says. Sticky, yes?

I happen to believe early abortion is moral enough, and was swayed by watching the Nova special, Life's Greatest Miracle (can view online here: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/miracle/program.html)... I continued with a pregnancy that probably would've been better terminated. While my child is successful and I am proud, my life was changed forever and I was forced to forego many opportunities.

Regarding paying for the procedure, that is your son's responsibility. Her health insurance should cover most of the cost, if not all, hopefully she has some. If you can't ethically finance it, he should reimburse her parents over time for the cost.

You actually sound like someone who is simply giving them more options without trying to put on too much pressure, which is great.

Now remember the other mom must be quite afraid and worried about her daughter. There's some good reason there, especially that the girl might not have the character needed to do raise the child.

I personally wouldn't go for adoption, but if the girl decides she can raise the child with your support and your son's, that'd be nice. Yet, you'd have to convince the other mom then. And you'd pretty much be responsible if anything went wrong, and they did not go on to complete their studies. (Don't forget the girl might wanna go to college!)

I agree that abortion should not be used as birth control. Unfortunately you are stuck in a tight place right now. Ultimately it is going to be the B's and B's mother who is going to decide and it looks like the mother has already made the decision. I am not sure that there is anything else you can do.