Can a spouse be deemed an unfit caregiver for a severly disabled adult?
My friend at work has a brother who has ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease). He is seriously disabled (no use of arms at all). He has been married for over 20 years, and when he got sick his wife insisted on taking care of him. She insists that she provides adequate care for him, but his physical appearance shows his family (sisters and mother) different. He is only bathed once a week, and has lost over 20 pounds due to lack of food, because she refuses to feed him as he needs. He does not want to go against her because it's his wife, but his family is worried for his well being. Outside help has also been suggested by the family and sought by the wife. Nurses aids and PT's have come to their home, and the patient's wife refuses to let these people in their home, after she called them to help with the care of her sick dying husband. I know this sounds ridiculous but is there a way his family can have her declared unfit as a caregiver ? Any course of action you may know would be helpful, also they live in Michigan
sometimes people read the situation incorrectly. The ill person may have lost weight because of their illness and not because of the way they were taken care of. If no nurses aids have been able to get in there and see for themselves what's happening how can you determine what is happening. You need to know though that it's very difficult for one person, especially a woman to take care of a man (they are tall and lanky and weigh more than the females), but also know that when "one" person takes care of another then their entire life is handed to the ill person for their well being. I'm sure that caregiver is giving it her all. Even CNA's, nurses and caregivers need a break sometime away from the people they care for. Why doesn't some close friend of that woman tell her they want to give her a break for a few hours so she can collect herself and do something for herself. Perhaps that family can't afford any additional help. You didn't say their age, could dementia be a problem? Could fear of being turned in be a fear? How about sending over their parish priest?
There are so many unanswered questions in a situation like that that no one from a distance can even begin to take a shot in the dark answer. Losing weight is associated with ALS, that that complaint on the surface is dead in the water. I am sure his family could come over and help her if they care so much. As for not allowing people into the home, people she has looked for help could suggest she may have been victims of theft or other abuse. I know personally in allowing people into my home to provide home care expensive jewelry has disappeared, and my wife suffered improper touching.
This is a job for the county to look into or for the family to provide extra support, damming a caregiver is very low on humanity scale. Excellent question though, shows how quickly we can become judgmental, but when in doubt, ask questions, judgmental or not, sometimes being judgmental is a very good thing as long as we ask the right people and the innocent are not harmed in anyway. . .
Befoer she kicked the bucket my sister have been given a examine from incapacity to pay for a caregiver for 20 or 30 hours a week at $8 according to hour. She became in Kansas yet she reported if the Dr. says you're no longer waiting to do your person housekeeping or choose help with bathing and nutrients you're entitled to it. My sister paid the money to her daughter. i will comprehend you may desire to be paid for the artwork you're doing to help the family members's month-to-month earnings. sturdy success!
I honestly hope I'm mistaken, but it looks to me as though the wife is willfully neglecting him and is after her husband's life insurance policy for in the event he passes away. I strongly urge the man's family to see about having the marriage annauled ASAP, and she(the wife)should be taken away where can do no further harm to her husband. YES! The family MUST intervene ASAP!