How beautifully does the wind sing in the trees when you are quiet?

The wind circles
Waiting in the branches
To sweep the stones
Clear of leaves
When I depart.
For now though,
It shows respect
As do I.
Respect for a life
A time and love
And the heartprint
You left behind.

In the sunlight
A tear, falling
A gift of thanks
For being
Rest in peace.

2009-01-12T00:08:06Z

Gruff, you're right, it was self indulgent -but not BS.

2009-01-12T00:10:21Z

Alobar, thank you for your suggestions, all critique is always welcome. I agree there needs to be a period or a comma at least before Rest in peace.
The other line I'm pondering....

-2009-01-09T08:37:37Z

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I'm sorry, I got caught up watching the leaves being swept in circles by the wind.............were you saying something?

ma

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Anonymous2016-12-20T04:36:25Z

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Alobar2009-01-09T08:56:29Z

A quiet, melancholic piece with lovely imagery.

a couple minor suggestions (but only suggestions) would be to strike the line "As do I," I don't think the repetition of your presence is needed, and serves to (ever so slightly) distract.

For now though,
It shows resepect
for a life,
A time etc etc

I would also add a comma or even line-break before Rest in Peace.

These are just suggestions, no need to defend, throw them out if you don't agree. Really a lovely poem, and I enjoyed. thank you.

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shelbycriswell2009-01-09T08:19:41Z

That's absolutely beautiful and gives me as the reader amazing imagery in my thoughts. My mind is mesmerized by the simplicity and meaningfulness of this. I really love it!

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♪♫NancyLiz ® ♫♪ ™2009-01-09T08:19:29Z

Very Beautifully, thank you.
Not really quite ready for RIP yet..
...but I shall try to rest peacefully.

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How beautifully does the wind sing in the trees when you are quiet?

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