Please help me? I don't know who else to ask? Eating disorder recovery? I want to recover?.?
Please help me? I don't know who else to ask? Eating disorder recovery? I want to recover? I'm a 17 year old female. I've had an eating disorder for 4 years. It varies between bulimia nervosa, and anorexia nervosa. Just recently my bulimia has gotten worse. I'm up to a high weight. I'm barely underweight anymore. I'm 104lbs at 5'4. I'm suicidal and depressed. I hate myself so much. I binged and purged so much earlier. Knowone knows about my eating disorder. I want to recover. So much. I've tried self recovery but it didn't work, I ended up going back to restricting, then b/p-ing again. I want to tell someone but I don't know how. I feel like I should get to my goal weight of 94lbs and then hopefully they'll make me recover cos I'll be underweight enough.
My question is, how do I tell someone? and who do I tell? Every day I tell myself- today will be the day I finally have enough courage to tell someone. Then I put it off another day. I told myself that if I purged again, then I would HAVE to tell someone, but I didn't :(
Please help me. I need help from someone. Anyone that can help, I would appreciate it so much. Honestly. Just please help someone.
Life with an eating disorder is so hard. I have no idea how some people can think this is a lifestyle. It is a mental disorder and I can't be cured. At my worst points, I want to die so bad.
I posted this just now but it didn't show up.
Anonymous2009-01-09T17:05:19Z
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I am soo sorry =( I know exactly what you're going through---i'm going through the same thing. You are so brave to ask for help like this!!!
Please take my advice and go see a therapist...this is what I did, and the second I told her about my disorder, it was like a weight lifted from my shoulders. It felt SO good to finally tell someone... especially someone who is not allowed to tell anyone else. I want to recover too (soo badly) and I know that it's a process. But my therapist can help, and I know that. I was terrified when I told her, (shaking, crying,), but I have to say that I know it is the right thing to do.
This disorder takes over your life and it is life-threatening. I hope you can find the will within you to reach out for help (to your parents, a therapist, etc). It WILL get better. I believe it will for both of us.
:]
This is what really helped me...
Think of what would you like to be doing for the last 5 minutes of your life? Would you like to be counting calories, making yourself vomit, and obsessing over your body? Life is just too short to let a disorder take over your life.
I don't think that this is something you can do on your own. Even if you were to get to your "goal" weight, I'm sure you know that you wouldn't be satisfied and you would change it. When I was losing weight, I told myself that once I got to my goal weight I'd maintain. But once I got there I said "5 more pounds, I look good now, but I can look so much better!" You need to talk to someone that you trust. An adult. Either your parents or a teacher or a school counselor or your doctor. And don't give up. I had to talk to several people before I found someone who understood what I was going through and what I needed. If it helps, write down what you want to say and give it to someone. That way you can make clear everything you mean and need. I would suggest asking to see a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. Someone who can help you understand why you're doing this, can hook you up with a nutritionist, and help you through recovery. Because a lot of people don't understand eating disorders, you need to try to be clear about how you feel and adamant that you need help because you don't want to live this way anymore. Good luck.
Ask a school counselor, or your parents even. Then, take a look into your insurance to see if it covers medical expenses for eating disorders because since you WANT to get better, an eating disorders program may actually do you good (rather than being forced). If not, and you want to try recovery again at home, ask for your parents to support you and check out your local library for recovery books (there's this one nutrition for recovery book that is VERY helpful). But remember, eating disorders are NOT about food (as I'm guessing you already know). If telling your parents, it's important they understand that it's not anyone's fault and that it IS serious (but don't freak them out, that might not be so good). Then perhaps all of you can sit down and decide what the best road to take would be (nutritionist.counselor, hospital, try on your own, etc.) Best wishes and it's great that you WANT to, not that you HAVE to.
First of all, good for you for asking for assistance. You're on the right track. Parents will want to help. Otherwise try a guidance counselor, best friend, teacher, something like that. Ask them not to answer until you have finished relating your story and tell them that you have made some progress on your own, but you would still like some assistance. Tell them your short term and long term goals. Keep a record/diary of your progress. Have someone stay with you for 2 hours after you eat to put some positive peer pressure on you to prevent you from purging. Find something to do like a hobby, something you have complete control over and try to focus on that. Feeling in control over your life is very important. Call up your local hospital. Sometimes they have support groups that you can participate in and get some ideas from others with your situation. Experts usually organize them. They are usually free, you just have to call ahead. And lastly, keep up the good work. You're not the only one struggling with this. Hope this helps. Zac, R.N.
Hey there, i think the person you should talk to is your mom. Unless your mom is one of those crazy type, then you should seek counselling. If you don't know any counsellors, kids help phone (completely anonymous, you can either call them or email them) can either help you or direct you to somewhere you can get help.
I have somewhat of a eating disorder, i just don't eat. I would never puke what i have eaten because the reason i started restricting my meals is because i know there's hungry people and animals, increasingly, out there who's eating dirt. eating junk food will make you more depressed and make your meals super unbalanced.
Start with a healthy diet book (since the portions in the diet books are small, the transition won't be too hard) and then move on to join family dinners and try eating a full portion.