What do you think of Two Seasons In This south: Winter And Hurricanes morning poem?
Intrigue misting sleepily down to Earth, As warmth meekly unburdens greenery From Winter-dormant twigs, branches of trees Shaking loose from iced-mornings' tyrranny.
Once more, Spring begins. Thunderous trumpets Herald this passage of delicate rites... Salvaging the needed, discarding the Useless. Harsh, cruel, violent. Easily
Seen as destruction of ancient rebirth. Once more, Spring begins as it always has. A clean, well-swept house is invitation For Spring's intriguing initiation.
Storms are never functions of travesty. Storms are the weavers of life's tapestries.
2009-02-09T01:33:31Z
I've got a bad feeling about this coming hurricane season. And, perhaps a flood coming from melting snows, up North. But, all in good time. BTW, if you've ever heard about the Morganza Spillway Project...ain't NO way it's going to solve any problems!
C.S.Scotkin2009-02-09T02:20:55Z
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Your poem is exactly correct for the Southland, The last couplet is wonderful!
I wish you well for the hurricane season. We have just been through the annual heatwave season followed by the horrendous Victorian bushfire season. All the boffins have their thinking caps on to decide how more lives can be saved next time. the problem is Nature has greater surprises in store for us each time. I fear this may be in your case too so the best advice will probably be to save your life rather than to try to save property by staying around. Spring brings hope of new life but something inside our heads tells us not to be fooled
As somebody who did flood determinations for ten years, I think I can safely say that the spillway project didn't help during Hurricane Katrina, and may have actually exacerbated the problem, by helping the lake to overflow over the levies.
Send you all good thoughts and prayer, and may the coming hurricane season be one of no destruction.no harm nor violence; wish you all good health, good spirit; and keep dry.
I loved reading your poem, all of it; the following were extra delightful to read:
"Intrigue misting sleepily down to Earth,'"
"..............................branches of trees Shaking loose from iced-mornings' tyranny."
And the couplet, your wisdom shines the most
"Storms are never functions of travesty. Storms are the weavers of life's tapestries."
I was actually looking for more to happen: colors, scent, feel. The short one and two word lines aren't effective and I'd drop the ellipses all together, unless you're going to use them correctly just let the line break be that pause or add other punctuation for emphasis. I liked the sound/mobius quality of L12/13.