Are you conscious in the moment....?
today
a darkened room
once filled with laughter
sits vacant
a lone figure
stands in the doorway
sullen
time passes
now only dust remains
Temari
today
a darkened room
once filled with laughter
sits vacant
a lone figure
stands in the doorway
sullen
time passes
now only dust remains
Temari
Alobar
Favorite Answer
I like this poem probably more for what is not said, then what is: is it a child's room, now grown and moved on? died? and why is the figure alone, why no spouse: widow, divorce, never married? so many stories can erupt from this simple verse.
sullen: good word
suggestion: change up the final two lines, they are a little cliche, but then, it is a poem of an instance in life that is, sadly, becoming cliche.....
ak
Powerful stark realism
You nailed that.
Anonymous
Yes, and sometimes unconscious is the moment also...