If you had an unintentional pregnancy, would open records make you choose abortion rather than adoption?
Let's make the assumption that the pregnancy was not caused by rape or incest, and that there was no way you could parent the child. This is specifically about open records - allowing your child to find you 18 years later - is that a good thing or a bad thing? Extra points for those who have actually MADE the decision.
2009-02-27T17:56:36Z
SJM: You're preaching to the choir. What I'm trying to elicit is an answer to the question - Do open records "cause" abortions (rather than adoptions) because the mother doesn't want to be found - or is it the other way around?
2009-02-27T17:58:55Z
GypsyWinter: I'm trying to be as unbiased as possible. The question is: Would open records cause "you" to abort rather than adopt out because the child would be able to find you later in life?
MamaKate2009-02-27T17:44:53Z
Favorite Answer
Dear Romany,
I ONLY agreed to adoption because I was told that my children would NOT suffer not knowing who I am. I was promised that "open" adoption would PREVENT the issues the closed records cause because we would always have contact. I was unaware that the APs could close the adoption after finalization.
I would have parented otherwise.
For me, closed records are a reason NOT to place a child for adoption and I would have made very different decisions had I known that "open" adoption are unenforceable soley BECAUSE of closed records - even without knowing what I know now about the effects of adoption on adoptees and first parents. I would NEVER wish to hide or be unknown to my offspring. I don't purposely cause pain for people I love...
ETA: Only one of my 4 pregnancies was "unintentional".
In a hypothetical situation that I was pregnant and for some reason the decision came down to abortion or adoption, open records would not factor into it at all. It would not make me more likely to choose abortion.
We all know that there are three possible choices with any pregnancy: abortion, parenting or adoption. I can't think of any situation that would make me rule out parenting, but this is a hypothetical situation so I'm just going along with it.
Personally, the only way I would ever have an abortion is if my life were in danger. Even then, I would get a second opinion (or 3rd, 4th...) But aside from that, I would never have an abortion. Never. I believe that life is precious and that a chance at life is always better than no chance.
I don't think that legally enforcing open records will cause a sudden jump in the abortion rates.
Well if i were to base my answer off of the statistics in Oregon, after the records opened there in 98, abortions continued to decline and adoptions actually increased.
Right to life can suck on that for a bit.
If i were to have an unexpected pregnancy, i'd raise my child. :) I don't think that "open records" in adoption influences many decisions because as I have found, most people don't even know that sealed records exists. lmfao. People either abort, choose adoption as a quick escape, or parent. I did have an unexpected pregnancy and the dr. never said to me "don't worry gershom, records are sealed in this state, if you surrender she'll never find you." hehehe I can't possibly imagine never wanting my flesh and blood to find me either. Nevertheless she's sleeping in the next room as I type and I chose parenting, but still. Why would I want to hide from her? I'm her mother.
No, the connection between abortion and open records makes no sense. If I were to choose to have an abortion I wouldn't even be thinking of paperwork/records/adoption. I would only be thinking about my reasons for being unable to continue with the pregnancy. I can't even begin to imagine why abortion would have anything to do with adoption paperwork.
I would not have an abortion (I would have used multiple birth control methods if I didn't want a child - but that is not what you asked)
In my case, I would ask one of my sister's to adopt the child if there were absolutely no way I could raise it so open records would not factor into the decision.
If that were not possible, I still think I would want the child to be able to find me 18 years later. The child would have questions and emotions that would need to be dealt with. I would feel it was my duty to do the best I could for the child even if I was unable to raise him/her.