Haikus? My first I've ever written, so please give feedback!?
These are the first haikus I've ever written, and I need to know how they are to everyone else. I had to write them for my 8th grade English class. Please tell the truth! They are haikus about various things.
Insomnia:
Sleep evades me,
insomnia takes over.
Yet, I dream of you
---
Dieing:
Too overwhelming.
The pain takes over now.
Say goodbye, last chance.
---
Homeless:
Beg and plead for more,
their stomachs vast emptiness.
Left without a home.
---
Rose:
Beautiful crimson,
it’s like my heart. It has thorns
and it’s withering.
----------
Beach:
Sunsets like fire,
powder sand between your toes,
palm trees in the breeze.
Waves crashing on the
shores, the sound puts me to sleep.
Utterly gorgeous.
---
Backstabbing:
See pain in her eyes,
enjoy it while you can.
You inflicted it.
-------
Fantasy Land:
You and I only,
where you whisper lovely words,
where you love me
------
Take me Away:
Take me away from
this lonely place I
should be calling home
----------
PLEASE PLEASE be completely truthful and give me any suggestions on getting better?
And please tell me which ones are your favorite!