Very raw and obscene question...but it is 100% serious. Preferable mental health experts only please?

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This is the most awesome post ever.

That said, she's probably looking for something new to get the excitement going. I'm sure you guys lead a constant Rockstar/James Bond lifestyle/relationship but after seven years even the best things can start to feel old, even if it's only on a subconscious level.

I've been in two long-term relationships (5+ years) and had many other shorter ones and have found that talking about bills and vacuuming and who gets to do the dishes just isn't as exciting after the four-hundredth time (and isn't nearly as fun as the "hey, we've got thirty minutes for lunch, let's go ***** somewhere" attitude of new relationships).

So yeah, my guess is that she's just trying out some new stuff, pushing the established boundaries a little (or a lot -- it's all a matter of perspective) to see what you're willing to do.

Using the passion of the moment to try new things may not always work, but it's less awkward than her coming up to you while you're getting ready for church on Sunday morning and saying "Hey honey, how would you feel about licking my asshole whilst unable to protest because I've tied you to the bed and climbed on top of you, effectively cutting off the vital supply of oxygen to your brain and forcing you to literally inhale, from my a.ss, chunks of that delicious pasta fagioli you made when your parents visited on Friday?"...Show more

It honestly doesn't sound like a mental health issue; it sounds like somehow your girlfriend had a new experience and loved it. Perhaps she saw a bondage film, read a suggestive piece of literature, did some research online, or even met someone with whom she had an 'experience'. I'm not trying to imply anything about your girlfriend, but you have been together for a very long time, and she might have gotten bored with your routine. Yes, perhaps you are going at it hot and heavy, but she might not be as good about communicating her desires to you as you assume she is. As another girl who has had a very hard time explaining what I want to my boyfriend, I would say that perhaps she was trying in the best way she knew to get you into her newest desire.

You might be grossed out by the fact she wanted you to do something sexual that also included her ***. So what? There are girls out there who are disgusted at the idea of putting a penis in their mouth. Everyone is different--perhaps you can sit down with her, explain calmly what you did and did not like about the experience, and suggest that you try new things at a slower and more forgiving pace. Do some research on methods of anal interaction, see if there's anything you're willing to try, and be as open-minded as possible. Also, suggest that she take a nice, warm, thorough bath and clean up very, very well next time...it won't smell.

Good luck to both of you. It sounds like you love her very much, so don't give up, just open up the lines of communication a little more. I'm sure you two can find a middle ground and take even more pleasure in both your sex life and how well you understand each other....Show more

You need to TALK to her. Ask her where the sudden change came from. Let her know that you were not comfortable with what took place - tell her your reactions to her actions. Your questions cannot be answered by anyone other than her.

If this had happened the other way around (with the man pushing the woman to do things she did not want to do, as she verbally protested against him) then this would quickly and easily be categorized as sexual assault or rape, even if the two people involved are a couple. That is essentially what happened in this situation, so you have to check in with your emotions about what happened, and talk to her about it. Try to figure out from her viewpoint where all this came from. Then you can make an informed decision about your next step....Show more

i know this seems a bit strange but sometimes women that have played the same role for a long period of time, willingly or not, they feel the urge for a change. some change in small ways, and others go to extremes. it sounds to me like she felt the need for a difference in roles.

another cause may be that something happened that made her think about your relationship, whether it be good or bad. when in a serious relationship some people, not only need change, they may also desire excitement. if she feels that she is stuck in the same routine everyday, she may have an unspoken desire. for these types of things, it is often easier just to act on your emotions than to talk about them, which can get awkward, (im not saying that what she did wasnt) but now that some time has passed and she has most likely cooled down, it may be easier to talk to her an find out what is going on.

the best thing for you to do now is to calmly confront her and the situation.

best of luck....Show more

Sorry that you felt abused (if that's the right word). Don't ever let her tie you up again! I think (basically) she just didn't know what she was doing (exactly). She (sort of) had it right, but she wasn't supposed to suffocate you, and make you uncomfortable, and make it unpleasant. Imagine it, if you can, done properly. When you are breathing. Things smell great. Music's on. Each of you are taking turns giving & getting pleasure. It was the first time. She made mistakes. It was awkward. Forget it. Try again. DIFFERENTLY. Your turn. Gently. Good Luck!...Show more