why can't my husband leave his ex-wife alone?
My husband and I have been married for almost two years, and we have a two year old daughter.
Before we got together, my husband was married for three years to another woman that he met in high school. they got married when they were about 18 or something...Supposedly, their relationship was really bad or whatever, he said she had a lot of mental problems so they split up in 05 and I met him about six months later.
They divorced in late 2006 (after I found out that I was pregnant) and only after I took out a loan at the bank to retain an attorney for him. I had to push him to file.
I found out about three months after they divorced in 07 that he had seen her when he was in their hometown for drill, and I found out they were talking as well. I told him that I didn't want him having contact with her anymore. So, he called her, said that he didn't want to hear from her again, and we went on with our lives. Our child was born a few months later, and things were quiet. My husband is a wonderful father to our daughter and spoils her rotten.
Then in March of 08, I noticed her number on our phone bill numerous times and confronted him. he admitted they had been talking again for a few months. I even called her during that time, demanding to know why they keep talking, and she just said "they understand each other" and nothing inappropriate was going on. She even begged me not to kick him out over this, because nothing had happened. she even told me that although she loves him, she's not in love with him, they just talk to each other because they understand each other. I accused them of being in love with one another and they both denied it. I also foudn out at that time that when he saw her in 07 that they had slept together.I told my husband that it was either me or her, and he once again called her and said that there would be no further contact between them again.
They cut off contact and he left for Iraq shortly after that and everything was fine after that. He came back in December, and things continued as normal. I still have issues with the ex-wife, I swear he's still in love with her, but both he and the ex-wife have said (in the past) that it's not possible.
Last month, I noticed a strange number on our phone bill again, so I called the number- and it was the ex-wife! I asked her why she won't leave my husband alone, and she told me that it's not just her contacting him, he's contacting her as well. She went on to say that their conversations were none of my business, but it was just that -innocent conversation- and not to contact her again.
He says they aren't talking again, but I got into his email the other day and I saw an old email from last month in which she called me paranoid, and now she expects for another year to go by without contact because she's waiting for that inevitable "I don't want you in my life" email from him.
His reply to her was "like I said, it's best we not talk for awhile, but that email you referred to isn't going to come."
I found her boyfriend on facebook and told him they were talking again, and he said he knows, she had told him and made sure he was fine with it before she even responded to him, which leads me to believe he's contacting her, not the other way around as he's led me to believe. I know they arent sleeping together either, she lives 5 or 6 hours away in another city.
Why won't my husband leave her alone? Even the ex-wife had told me a year ago when I called her that there's no way he's still in love with her, and even he's told me he's not in love with her... but if he's not in love with her, then why can't he let her go? Why does my husband still need to talk to her? Why can't he give her up?! I am at my wits end and I'm pretty much through with him unless something changes. Advice please!!!!!
what history? they got married out of high school, they had a baby but gave it up for adoption because they felt like they were too young to be parents, but that's it. even my husband says that as far as he's concerned our child is his only child. they were together for just three or four years, and if it ended so badly then why the hell do they still talk..it doesn't make sense
yes, she was his first love, and took his virginity