I just got an email telling me that I misunderstood something because I posted at least "twice" that having a closed adoption and requesting a medical history will not work. In both my answers I explained that in order to have a medical history that is worth the paper its printed on means up dates. And I didn't think anyone who agreed to a closed adoption would agree to do continuous updates. I don't see "BOTH" parents doing this on a long term basis and not expect any contact.
It was pointed out to me that "THIS PERSON" never stated that the parents were young nor were the grand parents.
I'm confused, Are there 50 year old women surrendering children these days?
If I misunderstood, please explain which part I am wrong about? Several other people answered these same questions with almost exactly the same information. In order to have a medical history you need contact.
What have I misunderstood?
gypsywinter2009-07-09T16:51:25Z
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Lori...ignore VicU..she has now blocked me...seems like she is blocking everyone that doesn't tell her what she wants to hear, but evidently has no compunction about emailing people who's answers she doesn't like.
Medical history is completely VOLUNTARY...whether an open or closed adoption. As of yet there are no legally enforcable laws mandating that anyone share their PRIVATE medical history (and that of family members) with another individual adult, whether that be the adoptive parent or the adoptee.
I gave what little med history I had when I was 17 and pg. I was quite the healthy specimen, as was my family. We were all YOUNG! I in fact would not incur any health problems til I was in my 40's...my mother until she was in her 60's. Would I like to be solely contacted on a regular basis by the adoption agency...interrogating me about my private medical information and that of my family?...I don't think so. Especially when I had no earthly idea of where my child was or even her name....who adopted her? Should my private medical information be made available for some clerk in an agency office to pore over..before it was handed over to the anonymous adoptors? Sorry information is a 2-way street...I am not the martyr/sacrificial mother...that I will lay bare all facets of my medical life and my family's life...for other adult people to pore over, of who I know nothing about nor even know their identity. How do I know what they would do with this info...share it with their friends for entertainment?
The adoptive parents want to know medical info from the surrendering mother...YOU contact HER yourself! Guess it wasn't too worrisome for a lot of adoptive parents in closed adoptions...I didn't hear a rally cry..to open those closed adoptions so they could speak to the natural mother of their adopted child...with concerns for the health of their adopted child. Or did I miss that too?
I didn't see your previous question...but you are correct in your understanding.
In order to get updated medical history, the family must provide it on a regular basis. They must do this throughout life.
They must do this, either directly to the child or the adoptive parents, or through an intermediary, like an agency.
It seems much more likely that it would happen in an open adoption, where the natural family has actual contact with the adoptive family and the child.
Many mothers would be uncomfortable turning over their medical history to a government agency,or an adoption agency, and in fact, that would be a violation of their privacy.
Lori, you haven't misunderstood anything. Vickie has the problem. Vickie just doesnt want to listen to anyone who knows the reality of the adoption world.
There is no real point in rehashing was said in reference to closed adoptions and seeking a medical history as "it" wont listen.
Vickie:
".... you for being rude and hateful towards me seeing as how you don't even know me."
Wow. Given that you LABELED the adoptees in here "angry" and "hateful", without actually "knowing any of them". Double Standards or better put as "the pot calling the kettle black".
"For some reason some of the posters are having a hard time with not reading before they answer."
OUCH. Learn to comprehend Vickie it will work wonders in this section.
Victoria cleary doesnt realize that those ages are young in todays world. You know, sometimes she seems to make sense, then she posts a question about a "birthmother" that is so stereotypical of what uninformed people think a first mother in, thats its disturbing.
Sorry, but a 29 year old mother and 50 and 47 year old grandparents ARE young. Chronic health conditions, such as heart disease, high blood pressure, cancer, etc., often do not present until ages 60+. You have no way of knowing if these folks have medical conditions that have not yet manifested at their relatively young ages.
Lack of updates throughout life will result in inaccuate health history.