What have I misunderstood?

Lori...ignore VicU..she has now blocked me...seems like she is blocking everyone that doesn't tell her what she wants to hear, but evidently has no compunction about emailing people who's answers she doesn't like.

Medical history is completely VOLUNTARY...whether an open or closed adoption. As of yet there are no legally enforcable laws mandating that anyone share their PRIVATE medical history (and that of family members) with another individual adult, whether that be the adoptive parent or the adoptee.

I gave what little med history I had when I was 17 and pg. I was quite the healthy specimen, as was my family. We were all YOUNG! I in fact would not incur any health problems til I was in my 40's...my mother until she was in her 60's. Would I like to be solely contacted on a regular basis by the adoption agency...interrogating me about my private medical information and that of my family?...I don't think so. Especially when I had no earthly idea of where my child was or even her name....who adopted her? Should my private medical information be made available for some clerk in an agency office to pore over..before it was handed over to the anonymous adoptors? Sorry information is a 2-way street...I am not the martyr/sacrificial mother...that I will lay bare all facets of my medical life and my family's life...for other adult people to pore over, of who I know nothing about nor even know their identity. How do I know what they would do with this info...share it with their friends for entertainment?

The adoptive parents want to know medical info from the surrendering mother...YOU contact HER yourself! Guess it wasn't too worrisome for a lot of adoptive parents in closed adoptions...I didn't hear a rally cry..to open those closed adoptions so they could speak to the natural mother of their adopted child...with concerns for the health of their adopted child. Or did I miss that too?

I didn't see your previous question...but you are correct in your understanding.

In order to get updated medical history, the family must provide it on a regular basis. They must do this throughout life.

They must do this, either directly to the child or the adoptive parents, or through an intermediary, like an agency.

It seems much more likely that it would happen in an open adoption, where the natural family has actual contact with the adoptive family and the child.

Many mothers would be uncomfortable turning over their medical history to a government agency,or an adoption agency, and in fact, that would be a violation of their privacy.

Lori, you haven't misunderstood anything. Vickie has the problem. Vickie just doesnt want to listen to anyone who knows the reality of the adoption world.

There is no real point in rehashing was said in reference to closed adoptions and seeking a medical history as "it" wont listen.

Vickie:

".... you for being rude and hateful towards me seeing as how you don't even know me."

Wow. Given that you LABELED the adoptees in here "angry" and "hateful", without actually "knowing any of them". Double Standards or better put as "the pot calling the kettle black".

"For some reason some of the posters are having a hard time with not reading before they answer."

OUCH. Learn to comprehend Vickie it will work wonders in this section.

Victoria cleary doesnt realize that those ages are young in todays world. You know, sometimes she seems to make sense, then she posts a question about a "birthmother" that is so stereotypical of what uninformed people think a first mother in, thats its disturbing.

Sorry, but a 29 year old mother and 50 and 47 year old grandparents ARE young. Chronic health conditions, such as heart disease, high blood pressure, cancer, etc., often do not present until ages 60+. You have no way of knowing if these folks have medical conditions that have not yet manifested at their relatively young ages.

Lack of updates throughout life will result in inaccuate health history.

VictoriaU has pretty much been harrassing anyone who tells her anything she doesn't want to hear. And since most of us here are not going to agree with someone lying to their child about the fact that they are adopted, she has been harrassing and blocking most of the people who are regulars here at this forum.

Obviously medical history changes. When my adoptive grandfather was my age, he was the picture of health. When he first had his children, his medical history was spotless. Forty some years later he died of lung cancer and emphysema. If all my Dad had was the spotless medical history of his 20 something Dad, he would have never realized that he was at a higher risk for lung cancer.

All things in life (especially medical information) are flux and not at all static. You cannot expect the medical history of today to be sufficient for tomorrow. Your best bet to ensure an accurate medical history for your adopted children is to keep the adoption open.

I don't think you have misunderstood anything but like a lot of people around here there are just some of them who will only read and understand what they want to read and understand...regardless of what was said in the first place.

Wait...what?!

What you're saying makes perfectly logical sense...I'm not sure how there could be a miscommunication on that.

However, if the emailer was who I think it might be, I think maybe that could be chalked up to insanity. ;-)

The soon to be birth mother that I am talking about is 29 years old. And the grand parents are 50 and 47. What you misunderstood is that I was not speaking about every single case I am speaking about one woman who does not want her child and has said she would rather the adoption be closed so that she wont have to be reminded that she gave up her child. I did not block you for your opinion, I blocked you for being rude and hateful towards me seeing as how you don't even know me.

EDIT: Also if you look in this question http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ana47... you will see what kind of birth mother I am speaking about. She has expressed to me and her parents that she would simply not be intrested in putting the childs life and its needs before hers.

Gemma S has obviosuly twisted the words I said around, just read her answer.

EDIT: As I said in the question "She told me the main reason she does not want to be a mother is because she is not done having fun in her life to put someone else before herself. And that she would have had an abortion but she waited too late, so its clear to me that she has no feeling towards her baby at all."

For some reason some of the posters are having a hard time with not reading before they answer.