How long do you think it will last until I lose it?

Question

Fill yourself in:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AvmEZBKLuonplJVSs1EGIxnsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090809115723AAfJrQ9

Earlier tonight, I turned down sex from my husband. I am finding myself becoming less and less attracted to him. I WANT for it to work, but I cannot get past my trust, respect and loyalty issues.

Because I tell him I "want" it to work, so he thinks it will. But I also tell him "wanting something isn't always REALITY." I find myself, wanting to get hit on or picked up on by a stranger. It's becoming a fantasy for me. It's very weird.

I told him I'd give him a year and if it doesn't work out, then I'm leaving. But I don't know if I can make it a year. PLUS, he is the root to our income. I had to quit my job when I was 6 months pregnant (changed locations and no one would hire a lady about to have a baby). No job. No income. I don't want to be a single parent, I'm only 23 :(

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

When you're ready let me know. I'd love to help you with your fantasy.

rnwallace07 · Answer

No one can tell you how long except yourself.  However, your statements do lead to other questions.  You said you are 23, but how old were you when you got married?  When did you become pregnant?  "...but I cannot get past my trust, respect, and loyalty issues." - sounds like there was an event, or events, that happened to cause you to feel this way. Have you discussed it with him? And what was his attitude?  Wanting to get hit on or picked up by a stranger makes me think that you might have gotten married too young and feel you have missed out on many things.  Or that you now feel you are in a dull rut and want some excitement in life. Suggestion: put down on paper all the negative things you feel right now and try to find out why that is;  let your husband know exactly how you feel, not just that you want it to "work";  be honest with yourself and him; if need be, talk to a clergyman, a counselor or a person whom you can trust.  I don't know if any of it will help you or not, but I wish you well.

Anonymous · Answer

There is a huge difference between "wanting it to work" and DOING THE WORK.

Have you read any books on trust or forgiveness?
Have you been to therapy alone or for couples?
Have you really been open with each other regarding your feelings using non confrontational methods?

If not it is time to get to work not wishing it will.

Things do not happen because we want them.

Another good book is "After The Affair" by Janice Spring. Very inexpensive compared to the alternative. Although this is not specifically marital infidelity you are acting exactly like a betrayed partner.

REALITY, issues left unresolved end up simmering to a full boil in time. Get some help dealing with your own issues then get him involved in the repair or dissolution.
Either way you need to get working on some resolve.

tony_le12 · Answer

Trust is the main issue for every one of us specially married couples.
If trust become an issue and you are falling out of love and no longer extract to him than there is no reason to stay married.
He cheat is is ground of divorced.
You with hold sex is also ground of divorced.

Life should live happy.

capandy · Answer

Why do you have trust, respect and loyalty issues? Something he did, didn't do? This, of course, is the root of your problem. To fix it, you're both going to need some serious marriage counseling. You want it to work? Lose the time line and get busy!

How long do you think it will last until I lose it?

Related Questions

Trending Questions