Why do certain "parties" in the adoption section go after each other? Frankly--adoption couldn't happen with all parties being involved under what all parties would not consider ideal...but in some circumstances it is the best outcome of many not great options. Why the bullying?
2009-08-11T05:05:54Z
Phil--they are children. You are right they are usually too young to be consulted. Not to mention...most kids don't have choices in most everything they do especially legal--which is why they have parents.
Bookwarm2009-08-10T13:39:21Z
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Part of it is that adoption is such a sensitive issue that effects the lives of those involved dramatically, hence arguments are more likely to happen then if we were discussing the best type of muffin. Another point would be that many people here have been bullied by people in the groups they are angry at in real life, whether through coercion or closed records or whatever. Then there is the fact that people will say things on an message board that they would never say in a face to face conversation. Finally there are people on here who ask questions just to rile people up.
I think the issue here is money- on what ethically sound planet does any money change hands between any of the 3 sides involved in adoption? (The agency are not a side; they are an inevitability that should hold no part, other than basically administrative and certainly in no way emotional, in this situation). How much does a baby cost? Who decides the amount and on what basis? There should be no money at all involved in this. No money changed hands between any 'sides' at any point in my and thousands and thousands of other children's adoptions- the whole situation is completely outside of any kind of financial relevance; people shouldn't be profiting in any way for any part of adoption, whether for their administrative services, assessment fees, 'finding fees', whatever etc which they can dress up and call what they want but money has no place in adoption, because it is a sad fact of the world we live in that those who have to pay have no power without that money and adoption is outside of that.
The power lies with the agencies, which were licensed by the government for the purpose of separating families.
The pre-adoptive couples and the agencies have had the same goal: to bring about an adoption.
Pregnant mothers, many of whom were not even legally adults , did not have the power to stop their children from being removed from their care. The fathers of their children often abandoned them and their own parents sent them away, pregnant, and set up guardianships over them in maternity homes with strangers or with relatives.
Mothers were coerced into surrendering babies they wanted.
Civil rights were violated. It was a terrorization and a persecution of family rights.
Some people have never forgotten and some are just now starting to understand it.